Notes About The Poem

From the anthology, Complaining to the Clock, a work in progress. 

Your Eyes Are Like Magic Marbles

Your Eyes Are Like Magic Marbles

Your eyes are like magic marbles 
made of blue sky madness,
they draw my sharpest senses inward
rendering me helpless to your red devouring lips,
which pucker with a blinding instinctive intensity, 
as with silent snakes seeking a cooler ground, 
hidden inside a hotbed of conniving bulrushes;
your perfumed presence bringing out deliriously
a powerful draw upon my protruding screaming loins,
as if you had stolen my lapping eyes and tongue unseen,
rendering them completely to the burgeoning sky beast,
that now swoops down with grasping talons of arousal;
as you sprawl before me with plumes of mad impulse;
we lie naked, moist and spent; two lovers embracing,
forgetting about time and trouble as living human beings.
Your eyes are like magic marbles.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Gauthier Avatar
May 23, 2020 at 8:31 PM
Star, if I can make a suggestion ~ I'm finding the word 'magic' to have less impact than you probably intend. The rest of your poem has a higher level of imagery. May I suggest either 'hypnotic' or 'spellbinding'...?
Hunter  Avatar
May 23, 2020 at 9:00 PM
Thanks Line. Appreciate your comments. And thanks for your suggestion. I ruminated over the word “magic” and chose to go with it because of the alliterative effect.
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