You Will Burn and You Will Burn Out

{"I have launched myself through the fields that descend towards an endless rampage, Of my soul, We draw ourselves into it hand in hand, We ignore the flames igniting in its pedestal, the darkness grants our free entryway into the bottom, endless pits of hell. The sentiments are ferocious and they once allowed you to die, burn to the core. The severity of the things that you utter about, on and on without a stop sign for you to just end it all, your lies keep on incarcerating my soul, a slash with every feverous act. You are a wily individual who is sophisticated in the fine arts of control, gaining control above me. The sun set above us when we were running around as kids, the other rivalries would be there, present to make us miserable, and their laughs would breech me to no end. We would want the ground to swallow us up a whole. My empathy only goes so long, and they break whatever inside of you is leftover, famished though tarnished thoughts keep us awake till morning. When it was finally time to start the day all over again, I lay dead in my covers with my arms crossed to prevent hysteria. I watch you from afar at times, my deplorable mania suffocates me mentally, and emotionally drained from being so lost all the time, I cannot track the path back to my home, or there is no home after all, it has been replenished and permanently erased, the house, or shall I say houses which my childhood went through, almost as a river, guiding me to the shores. It secured me safely as that fastened seatbelt pressed against my abdomen in an attempt to prevent serious injuries upon death. Miraculous, the invention was, but I entered my teen years and forgot to buckle up, click it into place, and be safe. Or perhaps, we did not forget to buckle up, death called us from the voyages, and we responded by this inaction. The rivers have guided us until 18, and after this, we will be tarnished on the streets with the feeling in our hearts diminishing and hindering away into the shallowness of the seas we look upon. Why have I felt so numb and void, my fingers prick and pinch my flesh in an attempt and effort to feel something, anything…let the shallow river guide me through the shallowness of the water, but we lost our traces of it, and the river has decreased its attention in protecting us. A hand that was on our shoulders, guiding us has left when we turned away from our youth, what guided us now did not come through the connection, they numbed us so we could not get hurt but the only enveloping part that hasn’t cease to exist, I shout up into the clouds even though nobody is listening expect for God, because, nobody knows you are alive. Not even yourself, this was partially an inaction of, violets and lavender gracing my presence. To decrease my trepidation, to lie on the moon or imagine it twinkling against, my hues. This was the last time I had ever felt, the Xanax wasn’t enough, and the sentiments would get all too much but now? The numbness was making me drown, the void, was a bottomless pit from which I couldn’t grant myself freedom, there was not a hand for my guidance myself, bristling on my shoulder blades, whispering, with reassurance coating multiple layers against its words, that every night will come to an end, and the rays of the sun, will be your resurrection, and bring you back to life, and every grief, will come to an end, Then, Why do I feel as if I’m drowning in the sea that once guided me?"}