You Wanted the Truth

you want to know me, you want to know the truth but i honestly dont think i can handle telling you things are blurry and spinning again the razor blade used to be my best friend we've been apart for far too long i thought i changed the tune of this song but in the end it will always be the same happy on the outside but inside, dying because of the pain i'd be lying if i told you that i was okay even though it seems ive survived today im scared and lost willing to pay, without knowing the cost trying to get out of this place trying to fill the empty space hoping that one day i can find some kind of peace wishing for some kind of release trying to fill my siblings shoes but in the end, turning back to drugs and booze getting so lost in the music trying so hard not to lose it trying to hide the tears all the pain and all the fear trying to be some one else trying to escape this hell so much to give, but unwilling how are these wounds still healing it seems like it would be over now i want to do these things, i just dont know how there's so much more to me too many scars that you'll never see dealing with the same hell, just different devils its the same game, just a different level using a smile to tie together the parts one person, two hearts all these things, i try to protect, but in the end i know ill never be perfect you wanted to know the truth... i still cant bring myself to tell you