You Tell Me To Stand As You Hold Me Down

The day I have to watch what I say Is the day I wake up to see that I lost myself Ask me why I want to run away As your screaming at me everyday Ask me why I can't stand my life When every time I stand up you push me from behind Tell me the world is at my feet and you will always be there When I look around and see my family crying to my face and scheming when I walk away Tell me to fix my life when my life is locked so far away from me I can't even see myself in the mirror Now ask yourself why isn't she happy We promise the world when she leaves Only to dangle her dreams out of reach Why do my words mean so much to you When the world can see that you aren't true But behind close doors you don't have a clue You told me if I was lost you would find me But when tears stream from my face and I tell you Daddy, I don't know what I am doing Daddy, help me through Daddy please I really need you A stone face looks at me and says You've been lost for years I'm sure you will pull through My hate has been mistake for strength And your hate and my hate Broke a soul I can never remake You tell me emotion are for the weak We beat them down till they are on full retreat I lived a life of feelings and friends And that was when I was at my weakest So you pulled me back in But daddy can I tell you have you ever cried yourself asleep Because your words cut to deep. Have you ever been so happy that you promised yourself nothing could take that away Just to see a knife to your throat by the person that swore to protect you Imagines of the past rip through my future As every step becomes cold and calculated Disappointment is easier to handle then success And pain is more acceptable then love Now keep wondering why I can't fix my life When the only things I can count on happening Is everything in this world that would bring down the strongest person Tell me to move forward and remember you kept me down so long I forgot how to walk And then explain to my friends why I Flinch away from everyone’s hands So how can I be better dad, when you taught me to run and hide? I wish I could fix myself I've even prayed that one day everything would be ok But if you and your life for me taught me anything It's don't hope and don't dream It's better to just pretend And wait until this life ends