You Tell Me To Stand As You Hold Me Down

The day I have to watch what I say 
Is the day I wake up to see that I lost myself 
Ask me why I want to run away As your screaming at me everyday 
Ask me why I can't stand my life 
When every time I stand up you push me from behind  
Tell me the world is at my feet and you will always be there 
When I look around and see my family crying to my face and scheming when I walk away 
Tell me to fix my life when my life is locked so far away from me I can't even see myself in the mirror
Now ask yourself why isn't she happy 
We promise the world when she leaves 
Only to dangle her dreams out of reach 
Why do my words mean so much to you 
When the world can see that you aren't true
But behind close doors you don't have a clue 
You told me if I was lost you would find me 
But when tears stream from my face and I tell you 
Daddy, I don't know what I am doing 
Daddy, help me through Daddy please I really need you 
A stone face looks at me and says You've been lost for years 
I'm sure you will pull through 
My hate has been mistake for strength
And your hate and my hate 
Broke a soul I can never remake 
You tell me emotion are for the weak 
We beat them down till they are on full retreat 
I lived a life of feelings and friends 
And that was when I was at my weakest 
So you pulled me back in 
But daddy can I tell you have you ever cried yourself asleep 
Because your words cut to deep.
Have you ever been so happy that you promised yourself nothing could take that away 
Just to see a knife to your throat by the person that swore to protect you 
Imagines of the past rip through my future 
As every step becomes cold and calculated 
Disappointment is easier to handle then success 
And pain is more acceptable then love 
Now keep wondering why I can't fix my life 
When the only things I can count on happening 
Is everything in this world that would bring down the strongest person 
Tell me to move forward and remember you kept  me down so long I forgot how to walk
And then explain to my friends why I Flinch away from everyone’s hands 
So how can I be better dad, when you taught me to run and hide?
I wish I could fix myself I've even prayed that one day everything would be ok
But if you and your life for me taught me anything 
It's don't hope and don't dream It's better to just pretend 
And wait until this life ends

Copyright © Sejia Valo | Year Posted 2011

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