You know I am here and I will longer be here

Not to stay nor to leave. Don't you understand seeing you smiling ear to ear, since I have said something stupid? I overthought once and once more? Weren't you grinnning ? Grinning because I was funny? Grinning because you found it amusing? Am I amusing? Or are you finding the situation amusing? Are you thinking I am a dead doll? Why can't you realize.. Haven't I specifically chase you away? By a head turn? Why are you your hand raising? You know my little brother is not thinking. Tell me do you see my habit in him? Waving and smiling? Saying hello with Red cheeks since being ashamed. Have you seeing him saying hello? Do you hear people saying we look the same? Why are you recognizing? You did not smile. How can you be so rude to a kid and not smile back?