Notes About The Poem

You Foolishly Once Thought You Had It Bad: a Collaboration

When tons of doom filled nights fall on your head,
hot embers glow and fires burn unabated,
you recall her last breath and wish you were dead.
In a poem's sad lines you've been castrated.
From the heavens a voice thunders dire threats
about losses and breakfasts consumed without eggs.
Fumbling about, looking to hedge your bets,
you drink your cold coffee, down to burnt dregs.

On waking you find dawn's hard hammer fell
last night's burns are reminders of strife.
You stumble and look up from the pits of Hell,
recounting the reasons why you lost your wife.
Your clock chimes out vulgar curses at you
and your house bids you leave by peals at noon.
You think of the ancient, wicked dreams, too,
as night falls with its wretched lucent moon.

You dream of hungry tigers eating your boots.
Your house is perched atop two adjoining trees.
A hunter fires;   but it's not a tiger he shoots.
Your second wife cuts off your legs at the knees.
With life's blood flowing from your severed veins
your heart bemoans that you married once more.
By morning you were free from nightmare's pains
but horrid memories linger behind closed doors.

What vast burdens you bear in fear of sleep
and hollows in your mind fill quickly with dread.
When your clock strikes twelve, I hear you weep,
" Odious anguish!  I wish I were dead."
Shadows dance on your walls in candle light.
Dark images of her body pressed close to you,
waltzing in your arms on a moonlit night
but she vanishes when dawn's rays break through. 

Which sort of dream scars your mind with more grief?
The ones in which you're butchered;  burned by fire,
or when daylight steals her away like a furtive thief?
Will your penance release you from the leeching mire...
the terror you encounter each night as you lie abed?
Foolishly, you once thought love claimed your heart.
Therein lies the angst of what you most dread...
the vexing memories in dreams that tear you apart.

Co-Written with Robert Lindley based on the original 
verses he offered in the open challenge on his blog.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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De Beaulieu Avatar
January 21, 2018 at 2:08 PM
I would say that this person had a nightmare in his dream.It must have been something he ate before going to bed. Have a nice day my friend.
Allison Avatar
January 13, 2018 at 2:44 PM
Dropping back with my congrats on your POTD Lin and Robert:-) hugs Jan xx
Lane Avatar
January 13, 2018 at 5:01 PM
Thank you so very much, Jan. :-)
Barden Avatar
January 11, 2018 at 7:07 PM
Oh, my ... this is stunning, and like it is my biography ... hit me like a cold shovel in the face. I've never read anything (by another writer) that was so it could have come straight from inside me. Wow. This is a new experience for me ... really amazing write unto itself, and very impactful to me personally. Wonderful collab, Lin & Robert. Wow.
Lane Avatar
January 13, 2018 at 4:58 PM
I didn't channel you, I promise, Greg. That's some bio you've had. Thanks a bunch for the enlightening comments.
Lawless Avatar
January 5, 2018 at 6:49 AM
OK....SO I SLEEP WITH THE LIGHTS ONE....WHAT OF IT.....DAMN.....THIS ONE WILL KEEP A FEW "SOUPERS" AWAKE TONIGHT......
Lane Avatar
January 13, 2018 at 4:57 PM
It is rather dark, I know, but I did make him aware of his problem. Lol. Thanks, John.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
January 4, 2018 at 7:34 PM
Spectacular penning! Congratulations on potd xomo x2!
Lane Avatar
January 5, 2018 at 7:14 AM
Thank you very much, Mo.
Rodrigues Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 8:01 PM
Congrats, Lin and Robert on a vivid collaboration
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 11:56 PM
Thank you so much, from both of us, Kim.
Michael Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 6:24 PM
Lovely Lin...Your collaboration was superb...Give my regards to Robert for his fabulous contribution...All the best to both of you
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 11:55 PM
I will indeed pass on your well wishes to Robert. He's not been feeling well lately. Thanks very much, Arturo.
Swartz Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 4:19 PM
I never like the dreams where night steals her away. A great poem and awesome collaboration between you two. Congratulations on POTD!
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 11:54 PM
Thanks, James. Robert's nightmare was the catalyst for this one.
Loughman Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 12:50 PM
Congratulations Lin & Robert! Great poem with some great lines...”Will your penance release you from the leeching mire”...excellent:-)
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 12:55 PM
Thanks so very much for liking this one and for pointing out something you specifically enjoyed, Donna.
Marcum Wong Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 10:34 AM
A dark collaboration written with such talent from both of you. "Shadows dance on your walls in candle light. Dark images of her body pressed close to you, waltzing in your arms on a moonlit night but she vanishes when dawn's rays break through." Brilliant Lin! Congratulations to you both on having this poem honored with POTD! : )
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 12:44 PM
I always appreciate comments that are detailed as you did. Thanks so much, Connie...for Robert and myself.
Wanter Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 9:56 AM
So rich, so seamless. There are poets and there are poets; you two are Poets! Congratulations!
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 12:43 PM
Thank you, Sun, so very much for the most delightful comments.
Smith Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 9:11 AM
Amazing collaboration, Lin and Robert, congratulations for POTD honors...
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 12:40 PM
Thank you, Charlie. Credit to Robert for beginning this dark tale.
Daniel Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 8:17 AM
A wonderful collaboration, Lin, you have done Robert's verses justice:) congratulations to both of you on POTD:)
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 8:22 AM
Thank you for your ever thoughtful comments, Jo.
May Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 6:26 AM
The stuff nightmares are made off...Congrats to both of you on POTD
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 8:22 AM
I have Robert to thank for giving me nightmares...lol Thanks so much Joseph.
Andresen Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 5:26 AM
- Congratulations (p.o.t.d.) on this amazing collaboration poem Lin & Robert :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Lane Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 8:21 AM
Anne-Lise, thank you from both of us for the read and kind comments.
Smith Avatar
January 1, 2018 at 7:10 PM
Amazing you two...love it and a fav
Lane Avatar
January 1, 2018 at 7:49 PM
Thanks most sincerely, Tim.
Lindley Avatar
January 1, 2018 at 1:04 PM
Sorry to be late commenting my friend. This cold/flu has me a bit down. As always, you came shining forth with brilliant and image filing verses to end this collaboration on a top level version of the dream poem opening .. ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO WRITE WITH YOU MY FRIEND!!!
Lane Avatar
January 1, 2018 at 7:49 PM
Thank you so very much, Robert. I was pleased that you liked my editing and final verses. Take care of yourself.
Mccall Avatar
January 1, 2018 at 12:35 PM
Hi Lin; WOW! what a great finish you tied in so well with the beginning. An amazing collaboration between you and Robert. Well done Lin well done.
Lane Avatar
January 1, 2018 at 7:48 PM
Thank you, Edward. Your kind comments are very encouraging.
Allison Avatar
January 1, 2018 at 5:43 AM
What a nightmare!!!! I was wanting to read happy and this one is darker than before!!! I'd hate dreams like this. Love the opening to the second stanza, another excellent collab with Robert:-) hugs jan xx
Lane Avatar
January 1, 2018 at 5:58 AM
lol Yes. Robert gave this poor man horrendous nightmares of abstract notions, but I did my best to analyze his situation and I didn't charge him a psychoanalysis fee. ;-)
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