You Are Your Own Sous Chef

Struggling with this silent internal war. A smile on the outside today, is what I fixed and uncomfortably wore. I felt like the bigger it got the more I could hide. Now only the universe and I can see the dismembered emptiness, that's falling apart from the Inside. How can I blissfully sit in a room of smiling faces, when I know most of them are too, teetering on the brink of disassociation. We all pretend we are fine, but we have a master feast of feelings marinating for years within our own made up lies. I am tired of being the sous chef for my own tragedies. I prep these emotional meals, and I store them away and for what a sick twisted pity party for only me? I really got to start working out the muscles in my face, they need to learn to decipher a real smile from a fake. I wonder if others notice their glue is slowly showing. We have to remember you can only hide the stew that's brewing for so long until it starts overflowing, so season your insides with things that make your feeling pot feel full. Also, don't over season feelings you are aware are no good.