Writing For Relief

I write this poem in pain, Hoping, wishing that this exercise Will bring me some level of comfort. Tonight is bad, shot with feelings, Those emotions I had kept under lock and key. Those feelings of pain and loneliness, Beckoning razors to emo wrists, but luckily, I'm not like that. But it still gets to me, Knowing that despite my good points, I'm riddled with flaws to the point of pariah dom This may be fact, it may be opinion Either way, it has been a long day, My "peers" driving me nearly to violence, All over what many call a positive, amazing really, How long hair can create so much conflict As me and a friend walked the highway, He remarked on people's innate hostility towards me, A truth that I've known for years, a truth That has steeled me to insults, given me The control to walk away from abuse and cheap shots A shiver runs through my spine, It's a cold night, 65 in the middle of July, And I put my arms around myself in a hug, Wishing that I had someone to do it with. Ironically I already wrote a poem about this A good piece, if two commenters And a couple of friends can judge. I like it, but my judgment has proven faulty before, Even today I chose sleep over friends, And I wonder why I'm lonely, why things aren't better. This is not the first time to feel like this, And this is not the last time I shall feel this way, False smiles and cheery lies shield me, And on the morrow I will be fine. Still, Questions arise and I have more wishes than lamps. I wish things were just I wish I had a mate I wish I could be happy I wish for three more wishes