Worthy Or Not
When you died
you left me a broken
gift on your doorstep
words unspoken,
your letters, photos
bitter tokens
of the years before.
How you exposed
your lovely flaws
and I held in
my utter awe
of you- my fear
and shame were raw-
I wondered if you knew...
That I was unworthy
of your kindness,
at your worst
you beat my best-
a fraud, a lie,
a frumpy mess-
I couldn't let you see!
So, I shut down
and didn't call,
left you alone
to rise or fall,
and never knew
I was your "all"
(you somehow needed me?)
When I withdrew
how much I lost...
how much you cried,
how much it cost,
worlds of hurt
exploded across
our tiny universe.
And while I cracked-
you crumbled, caved,
imploded in
(too late to save)
and slipped into
an early grave-
that I can't forgive myself.
My insecurity,
foolish pride,
fear of rejection
rotting inside-
I bitterly swallow
the love denied-
poison of my heart.
An honorable death,
the "end" of me,
no longer important
there are others to see...
love to give and to receive,
worthy or not- I've been set free
to love and be myself.
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a
Premium Membership.
