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Worlds of Ice

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Winter's whimsical nature comes with fickle freeze, cold pervading every fibre How I remember you, red hot against the white snow Smoking volcano against permafrost desolation How your aura lingers in my brain fleeting perfume, breeze of ozone The sweet sweaty scent of long nights leathery lines grafted in my skin The fragile steps we took, tension of our vulnerability in closeness Sweet brokenness, tender hurt... Worlds of ice can not find my Duvet of snowflakes, simulation of soft warm goose down Mirroring remnants of our souls that sleep in dreamless reminiscence *** May 17, 2017 Copyright © Darren White

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Maria Williams

Date: 5/24/2017 7:24:00 AM

I keep telling you, you are a word master, a title I dont give lightly to anyone. You are truly exceptional my young friend. A7++ and a fav.... Maria

Darren White
Date: 5/24/2017 7:28:00 AM

That really warms my heart my dear friend, thank you SO much.

J-Mag Guthrie

Date: 5/22/2017 5:31:00 AM

"abyss" is not the word you want--it is emptiness--maybe you mean tundra? I'd also entitle it something else--that doesn't give it away at the beginning. (That's because I think it works better as a delicious discovery ... I think an innocuous title dealing with winter or snow would tempt the reader without giving away the substance.) There is some muddle in the midlines about "Worlds of ice can not detect me" I'm not sure "detect" is the word you want--maybe "find".

Darren White
Date: 5/22/2017 5:46:00 AM

Hmmm, aren't there any abysses with permafrost? Guess not then, I wanted it opposite the vulcan-mountain... I'll opt for "desolation" instead. You are right about that one sentence Worlds of Ice and so on. I need something different. As well as a title, yes. Thanks!

Maureen McGreavy The Insolent Rib

Date: 5/20/2017 6:58:00 PM

seven xomo :)

Darren White
Date: 5/20/2017 11:50:00 PM

Thanks ma mo :)

Funom Makama

Date: 5/20/2017 12:47:00 PM

This is excellent, precised and highly intellectual. A huge 7 for me.

Darren White
Date: 5/20/2017 12:59:00 PM

Thank you Funom, for your wonderful compliment, and for the 7 :)

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 5/18/2017 4:00:00 PM

Oh, this is exquisite, my friend ... libidinous and sultry, yet the icy surroundings and the contrast it creates INCREASES the sensuality of it ... I adore that sort of ambiguity, especially where "physicality" is concerned, (I did similar with "2 Read U", but in relation to "reading" another with ones hands). This is, for me, my favorite genre, and one that you have an extraordinary grasp of. This is a seven and a fav, for sure - love, LOVE it! :-)

Darren White
Date: 5/18/2017 10:12:00 PM

Woot Greg, thanks! It is exactly that contrast, that ambiguity in sesnses and surroundings I love too, and I know you do too. Not everyone loves that looming darkness in poetry, but I love to play around with it. Wonderful, thanks for the 7 and the fav my friend :) Steal the picture if you like, I stole it too ;)

Gregory Richard Barden
Date: 5/18/2017 4:05:00 PM

And that photo is gorgeous! Must steal! ;-)

Chris Green

Date: 5/18/2017 3:36:00 PM

WOW!!!! What an amazing and affecting piece of writing my friend. You truly are a master of words and phrases, you have painted the most wonderful and vibrant picture here using very little color at all. This I amazing Darren.

Darren White
Date: 5/18/2017 10:08:00 PM

Thanks so much my friend, that you say this to me makes me so proud :) It's so important to me to know your opinion on my poems

Anne-Marie Coreggia

Date: 5/18/2017 8:47:00 AM

What an exquisite poem, and I love the picture you chose. It provides a perfect backdrop for your poem with the soft, duvet like snow falling onto a dense, almost impenetrable forest. Opposites attract, but sometimes they cannot stay together:) Amitiés

Darren White
Date: 5/18/2017 10:06:00 PM

Indeed Anne-Marie, those opposites stand out indeed. Thank you for liking my poem.

Sara Ella

Date: 5/17/2017 8:44:00 PM

A sweet and sorrowful memory that you have painted in beautiful, artful, heartfelt images. <3

Darren White
Date: 5/17/2017 10:43:00 PM

Thanks Sara, it's a little abstract, don't you think?

Emile Pinet

Date: 5/17/2017 3:31:00 PM

This is a hauntingly beautiful poem, full of metaphors and painted imagery. You paint the scene with descriptive words, that bring the essence of your experience into our conscious mind, and we too can walk in your shoes for a short time and feel what you feel. Well written. Emile. #7

Darren White
Date: 5/17/2017 10:42:00 PM

Thank you Emile, you always have such wonderul comments for me :)

Tim Smith

Date: 5/17/2017 8:46:00 AM

This is great my friend. So many great lines. Cherish that aura lingering...a definite fav

Darren White
Date: 5/17/2017 9:04:00 AM

Thanks Tim, my friend! Also for the fav :)