Wonderful Land of Release

This was the night I had never anticipated to come to me; I had always imagined myself not being here in the past. Those began around a year or two ago, when I would look out the window into the lonely, dark woods behind my house and saw so much, so much that terrified me. The notion of not existing terrified me later, but during, it seemed wonderful, like a fairytale I had always desired and longed for. This wasn't the hope I wanted or needed, but on this particular night, every memory was entwined into one, and that moment interwoven was asking me to go. To leave somewhere else. To depart for the ether, that wonderful land of release I had hoped to see.