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Woe Is Me To the Dvlc Driving Vehicle Licence Centre

Woe is me to the DLV by Gypsy View previous topic View next topic Go down  
 

Location :  Marton, New Zealand

 



Oh DVLC you have upset me, you are so unkind

You’ve committed the ultimate sin; I need to unwind

You  really have upset me with your letter received to-day

How could you be so cruel to do things in this way?

 

I learned to drive at seventeen in  an Austin 7 painted dark green

The choke would flood the carburettor, rain water cleaned the windscreen

The cranking handle yanked your shoulder and took ages to turn

Black oil leaked out,  the embarrassment, the whole town could smell the  burn.

 

The car would stall time and  again; you hopped along like a kangaroo

Then you had to get out of the darned thing, keeping the ignition on

Running to the back of the car you would  push it down the street

When the engine purred you ran like hell to get back in the driver’s seat

 

There were no nice heaters in winter to keep me warm

Neither air con in summer to cool me  from sun’s harm

Steamed up windows were the order of the day

As for frosty mornings, no de-icer, elbow grease was the only way.

 

Banana yellow indicators at the side (when they worked) clicked left or right

If they did not work window wound down, you should have seen the sight 

Hand signals were the order of the day; no rude finger signs were used

Power steering was in the future;  road rage not invented for folk to  be abused

 

On hot days the plastic seats would burn your thighs and bum

No tight seat belts to hold in your boobs and tum

Then the driving test was the punishment we faced

My driving examiner, a Mr Tipple I recall, was so straight laced.

 

At last I passed the test times three, so proud

I had to shout the news to a passing crowd

The world my oyster I now was free 

Only soon to become a possession of the DVLC

 

At thirty four pence a Gallon Petrol was expensive !!

But garage services were thorough and extensive

Windscreens were washed each time for free

Oil and tyre pressure checks done for no fee,

 

I scraped along to pay Car tax, insurance and MOT

Lots of money to find over the years for poor little old me 

But now DVLC have gone too far by half, admonishment is a must

Their crime? they just dared to inform me I’ll be  SEVENTY this AUGUST!!!!!

BARBARA BREWIN (C) 2015

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