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Woe is me to the DLV by Gypsy View previous topic View next topic Go down Location : Marton, New Zealand Oh DVLC you have upset me, you are so unkind You’ve committed the ultimate sin; I need to unwind You really have upset me with your letter received to-day How could you be so cruel to do things in this way? I learned to drive at seventeen in an Austin 7 painted dark green The choke would flood the carburettor, rain water cleaned the windscreen The cranking handle yanked your shoulder and took ages to turn Black oil leaked out, the embarrassment, the whole town could smell the burn. The car would stall time and again; you hopped along like a kangaroo Then you had to get out of the darned thing, keeping the ignition on Running to the back of the car you would push it down the street When the engine purred you ran like hell to get back in the driver’s seat There were no nice heaters in winter to keep me warm Neither air con in summer to cool me from sun’s harm Steamed up windows were the order of the day As for frosty mornings, no de-icer, elbow grease was the only way. Banana yellow indicators at the side (when they worked) clicked left or right If they did not work window wound down, you should have seen the sight Hand signals were the order of the day; no rude finger signs were used Power steering was in the future; road rage not invented for folk to be abused On hot days the plastic seats would burn your thighs and bum No tight seat belts to hold in your boobs and tum Then the driving test was the punishment we faced My driving examiner, a Mr Tipple I recall, was so straight laced. At last I passed the test times three, so proud I had to shout the news to a passing crowd The world my oyster I now was free Only soon to become a possession of the DVLC At thirty four pence a Gallon Petrol was expensive !! But garage services were thorough and extensive Windscreens were washed each time for free Oil and tyre pressure checks done for no fee, I scraped along to pay Car tax, insurance and MOT Lots of money to find over the years for poor little old me But now DVLC have gone too far by half, admonishment is a must Their crime? they just dared to inform me I’ll be SEVENTY this AUGUST!!!!! BARBARA BREWIN (C) 2015
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