Within and Without

One month. One gone, spent on escape, on memory and on loss, one down, without you - how many more to go? How many brothers will I bury, left behind to carry the weight? One more down, one more stolen - how many more to go? You were first to drink, to flirt, to speak to a stranger; first to support, to laugh, to commit, utterly, to new friends. You are first in our hearts, living in pictures on the wall; first in our thoughts, every day, your face alive in each tear fallen. A song asks me a question, do you know where your heart is? And all I can think is, within and without. Within my chest, within my memories; within what I hold closest. Without - in my family, on my sleeves, with you for so long, and suddenly without. Each day, more and more I miss you, and I'm beginning to miss me too. You're the one the world stole away - so why am I the one who's the ghost? These things grow so damned heavy - these burdens, these tears, these sorrows, these bracelets, these tattoos, these steps - how many more to go?