Notes About The Poem

October- 7- 2025

Villanelle Poetry Contest-

Sponsor- Joseph May

~ Placed Third~


 

With Daybreak

(My first attempt at writing a Villanelle)

 Earth has woken up from under the blanket of gloom.
 Sun has emerged beaming garishly bright.
 Bees buzz around fragrant flowers that bloom. 

Early morn looks fresh and beautiful as a bloom 
Between the twilight glare and the golden light,
Earth has woken up from under the blanket of gloom.
 
Joggers are out for their routine walk to groom.
Inhaling fresh morning air, for them, is sheer delight.
Bees buzz around fragrant flowers that bloom.
 
With sunrise, shadows have begun to zoom
The roads lie vacant in still lingering twilight. 
Earth has woken up from under the blanket of gloom.

Women are not yet out to sweep the yard with their broom
Which the rustic folk religiously  undertake as a routine rite.
Bees buzz around fragrant flowers that bloom.

As the day advances, all sundry activities will resume. 
The quiet will cease and business will throw back in full might. 
Earth has woken up from under the blanket of gloom. 
Bees buzz around  fragrant flowers that bloom. 
___________________________________
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

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May Avatar
October 10, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Very nicely penned Valsa, Congrats on your win in my contest
George Avatar
October 11, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Thank you so much dear Joseph for the placement given. As my first attempt at Villanelle got a recognition, I am encouraged to try more of it.
Rodrigues Avatar
October 9, 2025 at 9:34 AM
A lovely refrain!
Buhagiar Avatar
October 9, 2025 at 1:23 AM
This is a wonderful effort. I know how difficult this form is. Best for a win.
Dietrich Avatar
October 8, 2025 at 8:21 PM
This is really good. Only one rhyme is off verse 4 "feet"
Guptar Avatar
October 8, 2025 at 11:52 AM
A fantastic Villanelle depicting daybreak. Would not say it is a first attempt at this form, Best wishes in the contest.
Sharma Avatar
October 8, 2025 at 6:41 AM
What an amazing outcome!! All the best.
DiMino Avatar
October 8, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Soooo perfect! Well done, Valsa. Masterful, delightful poetry. "Earth has woken up from under the blanket of gloom. Bees buzz around fragrant flowers that bloom." Wonderful writing.
Kendrick Avatar
October 8, 2025 at 4:44 AM
It reads like a good contender for the contest. Way to go. Thanks for sharing your first work in the form with us. They are not so easy to write. Sara K
Onclaud Avatar
October 7, 2025 at 9:41 PM
you painted deep images of life's toil!
Rolland Avatar
October 7, 2025 at 6:40 PM
well done, your villanelle is charming and lovely
Kelii Kekaula Avatar
October 7, 2025 at 11:23 AM
I like the contrasting imagery of the day’s routine that progresses throughout. The evolving vibrancy of nature as it senses normalcy and renewal. Structurally calming and meditative, the effects of which an amateur is argumentative, as true talent exposes an optimistic pen’s accomplishment, without a doubt. Well done, my friend. Aloha.
Rodgers Avatar
October 7, 2025 at 9:29 AM
Dear Valsa, great write on your first villanelle! You really captured that liminal morning moment, splayed in the world between sleep and motion. I specifically love "shadows have begun to zoom" and those women with brooms as a daily ritual. Excellent, Autumn Blessings, Dear Valsa, Daniel
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