Why There Are No Snakes In New Zealand

The story is told of a Maori King bold
Who dared cheat the Prince of Siam.
I’ll leave it to you to decide if its true.
But if you're not convinced, at least I am!

This king was annoyed so he filled his bored void
By selling the fauna of his wee land.
He soon grew in fame, none dared speak his name,
He was the richest in all of New Zealand!

But this roll could not last; the fates swooped in fast
With an invoice for arrogant King Frodo!
A prince of yon borders sailed in with his order
For a half dozen snakes and some Dodo.

“The snakes are all gone!” Frodo said with a yawn.
"And we ate the last Dodo last week!”
Thus the king blew him off with a wave and a scoff;
“Look elsewhere for that which you seek!”

But the prince had prepaid! And he screamed out in rage,
“What is that in the cage with the hasp?”
King Frodo’s eyes narrowed, “I won that from Pharaoh,
And that, that’s a two-headed asp!”

“And though its not fair, it is simply too rare,
Now be off or I’ll soon have your head!”
But the prince made this threat, “Dear King you’ll regret!”
Then he left leaving Frodo to dread . . . . . . .

At daylight’s first gleam, you could hear Frodo scream
As he raced to the harbor to spy,
And lo, by the pier was a note on a spear . . .
“Keep my gold! . . . But kiss your asp goodbye!”


For the "Asp" Contest
Sponsored by Anthony Slausen
May 7, 2018
10th Place

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017



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Date: 5/9/2018 4:20:00 AM
Very creative and humorous...Congrats on your win
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Dean Wood
Date: 5/9/2018 10:24:00 AM
Thank you Joseph.
Date: 5/8/2018 5:12:00 PM
Congratulations on your win. Enjoyed.
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Dean Wood
Date: 5/9/2018 10:23:00 AM
Thank you for stopping by Susan.
Date: 5/7/2018 11:37:00 PM
Dean , this tickled me ,. Congratulations on your well deserved win!
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Dean Wood
Date: 5/8/2018 11:04:00 AM
So glad you enjoyed it Eve. I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you are well. -- Dean
Date: 5/7/2018 8:25:00 PM
A very entertaining poem, Dean. Congrats on your fine win.
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Dean Wood
Date: 5/8/2018 11:03:00 AM
Thank you Line. I appreciate the time it took to read this long tale and to comment.
Date: 5/7/2018 8:08:00 PM
I learned a bit of history in your creative poem, Dean. Congrats on your win :)
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Dean Wood
Date: 5/8/2018 11:00:00 AM
Umm, I may have taken a little license with the history so don't take it to the bank! Thanks for taking time to read and comment Laura.
Date: 5/7/2018 7:56:00 PM
Back for congrats, Dean! :)
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Dean Wood
Date: 5/8/2018 10:59:00 AM
Thanks Kim, you are always so good to comment. -- Dean
Date: 7/3/2017 2:33:00 PM
Great last line. Indeep an invaluable asp. Could not kiss asp nor grab it. :) LOL
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Dean Wood
Date: 7/3/2017 2:37:00 PM
You're too funny Kim. No, kissing or grabbing would be a bad idea. hehe
Date: 7/3/2017 2:06:00 PM
This is so funny :) Sorry to hear (read) that you've had a surgery... hope you heal soon. But don't stop writing!
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Dean Wood
Date: 7/3/2017 2:37:00 PM
Thanks Becca! Good to see again. Been wondering how your wedding went. Hope all is well. -- Dean
Date: 7/3/2017 12:35:00 PM
This was really cool and that ending. priceless. You disguised it with a well written tale that had me, the reader, expecting something all together different. Nicely done.
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Dean Wood
Date: 7/3/2017 12:41:00 PM
hehe, Thanks Chris! This one has that Edgar Allen Poe factor. I was healing from surgery and on pain killers when this one came to mind. Wrote it late at night. I had no idea how it would turn out. Glad you enjoyed it. Dean
Date: 7/3/2017 12:23:00 PM
Dean, that's insane, I love this stanza most:"But the prince had prepaid! And he screamed out in rage, // “What is that in the cage with the hasp?” // King Frodo’s eyes narrowed, “I won that from Pharaoh, // And that, that’s a two-headed asp!” It's not only fun, it's also very intricate with the inner rhyme every second line. Wonderful storytelling, great rhyming and oh so very entertaining :)
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Dean Wood
Date: 7/3/2017 12:39:00 PM
Thank you Darren. Adding the internal rhyme in the first and third lines was a constraint that really made me stretch but it held my interest as the writer. Hopefully it does the same for the reader. As always, I appreciate you comments. Glad you enjoyed it. Regards, Dean
Date: 7/3/2017 10:49:00 AM
You're a good story-teller. Do you also write short stories? I'm guessing they'd sound very American, just like your poetry.
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Dean Wood
Date: 7/3/2017 11:00:00 AM
Thank you Dale. No, I have never tried my hand at short stories.
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Dale Gregory Cozart
Date: 7/3/2017 10:50:00 AM
And the photo's a hoot!
Date: 7/3/2017 9:55:00 AM
Love the humor, Dean. Very creative write!
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Dean Wood
Date: 7/3/2017 11:01:00 AM
Thanks Daniel. It is interesting what can come out when you can't sleep. I must have been a little rummy when I dreamed this one up!
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