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Why me

Why me?

Every single day is a genuine battle 
constantly feeling like I'm what's wrong with society 
I know I'm a savage, but not ignorant 
How do I change without support? 
I'm an addict, I'll shamefully admit 
I long for the day the shame will help me change 
The beastly scars engraved into my wrists show the pain I feel inside 
But it just pushes me to pursue an escape 
I know it only masks the problem until the regret kicks in again 
A cycle that seems impossible to break...
I'm not as strong as I hold myself to be.. 
They say fake it til' you make it 
I need help.. You were to think a suicidal attempt was mighty enough of a plead 
Maybe I'm not as important as everyone keeps telling me..

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

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Date: 4/11/2014 4:52:00 PM
One more thought, a quote that sometimes helps--a little: "Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity." I'm a retired English teacher, but I do some private tutoring. And in those moments when I'm helping a kid improve his essay--to learn how to write, then I am not alone. And who knows, maybe I'm winning that victory after all. Helping others is the best medicine (though percocets are good lol) Love, mel
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Date: 4/11/2014 4:45:00 PM
Selena, thanks for reading my poems and commenting--means a lot. As for what I just read, well, regrettably familiar. I raised three kids, but they've grown and flown. I'm divorced, and even my dog died (my poem, To My Friend). I have friends, but they're far away--hope is far away too, but I guess you know that. Peace, my friend. Love // mel
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Date: 2/13/2014 1:54:00 PM
A Subject I Myself Have Known Quite Well, Sweet Beautiful Precious, Selena ~ No One Whom Truly Cares Wishes That Another Priceless Heart Should Suffer! ~ We Live In A Very Dark World Growing More So It Seems Everyday ? A Myriad Of Reasons Play Into These Broken Spirits....Some Come To A Place Where At This World Has Pretty Much Died Unto Them: Because They See Somewhat Further As Deeper....Dust Is Dust And The Battle Rages On ? Hang In There Baby Girl! Because Also, Beauty is Beauty ~ My Love, Always & Forever, John ... Ps., Thank You, For Your Treasures Kind As Warm Visit: Keep Brushing ~
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Date: 2/12/2014 3:16:00 PM
I hope that this is based on knowing someone who has tried suicide and not you..If you have tried the suicide, I hope that you are getting the help that you need.Writing about the pain and feelings will help that is if you can get them out and go on..Sara
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Date: 2/11/2014 4:28:00 PM
This is a beautiful, but sad poem. The only one that can change is you, but you have to want to change. Just remember that you are God's child and he loves you. The help is out there . You just have to look for it. Many blessings.... Lucilla
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