Why Me

A pandemic wasn’t the worst of what I’ve experienced imagine being gas lit for your mental illness And times that by 3 if once was not enough Man have I been wronged. Imagine people you love making you feel like a hypocrite for your illness for sadness loneliness Abandonment. Imagine he says “baby I love you” only to cheat Imagine she says “I’ll ride or die for you” only to call you weak and leave. I cannot lie and say I haven’t thought of taking my own life. So many times giving my heart away To those who aren’t deserving of my love and light. But I will tell you my best kept secret. My heart has no capacity to bite back at these actions. I have sat in my hurt and pain I have had weekly therapy sessions. Instead of cowering down to a level of deceit and mistrust. I have chosen love. I have chosen me And what I have got in return is not what you think. I have learned compassion. Empathy. The way these people are, Is not within me I know I deserve better and I know the best will come. I know I am filled with love and light. I know how that manifests in my life. Here I go again, turning the other cheek.