Why I Hate Shopping At Snarl-Mart

Why I Hate Shopping at Snarl-Mart By Elton Camp The parking lot’s hard to bear For it must be a mile square Any spot close to the door, No parking there anymore. Dozens of them are labeled “For use only by the disabled.” Enough for every wheelchair Within a hundred miles of there. At the door, I nearly start to choke Employees around taking a smoke Seems the store should care About them standing there Also, people sitting at a table. “To give to us, are you able?” If not when on your way in, Upon your exit, we ask again “I came here for prices cheap. What I have, I need to keep.” Have to leave you in the lurch Don’t believe in your church. Once I am inside the door I find shopping carts galore All lined up in a neat row Maybe washed a year ago Of customers there’s no lack Every aisle the shoppers pack In groceries, where I first go Everything is from Mexico I buy it only with a sigh Hope it won’t have E. coli When I look for my favorite cans Been replaced with store brands Bakery goods look a delight But trans fats in every bite No care about customer health Only interest is chain’s wealth To other areas, I then leave There to find an awful peeve Nearly stirs up my angina Everything is from China Their buyers surely must prize What’s made by slanted eyes When goods there have been made It makes worse the balance of trade It’s very hard, in this day To find, “Made in USA.” I gladly would pay a bit more But isn’t to be found in this store Unemployment at a high percent Very clear where our jobs went However, they’ve got us on the spot Impossible, foreign-made to boycott Next, it makes me want to shout At long it takes me to check out Does no good for me to complain Nobody is working express lane Checkers working only two or three No matter how long the lines may be. If some items just won’t scan Seems they have no simple plan All those in line will be delayed The store’s price must be paid Checker says, “It’s not my fault. Just doing as I’ve been taught Bag the groceries not too well Taters on bread? What the hell? There is such a powerful rush Cans atop eggs, which they crush So many items put in plastic sack Handles tear off before I get back As I enter kitchen door All will spill in the floor I hope this explains the reasons why At Snarl-Mart, I truly do hate to buy. Yet, I have to return another day. The other stores, they ran away.