Lena Townsend Poet Free verse

Why I Cry

I was crying tonight 
I thought I had survived the pain
I know I was lying to myself
Holding back the tears
Pretending that life had moved on
That I had moved on
As the the night drifted to dawn
I found so much missing 
Then I pictured him
The image was so clear
My mind wandered back to the nights we shared
I felt his hand upon my skin
I saw the reflection of the moon in his eyes
I felt the happiness that lived in each moment
With him I felt whole 
My life complete
Without him 
Emptiness engulfs me
Sadness overwhelms me
I am lonely
Not for my lover
Not for companionship
Not for the man
For my best friend
I am lost
I look around and realize
This is not where I belong
This is not where I should be
This is where I stay
I ask myself why I stay
And though I can make a list of reasons
They are all excuses
Words that mask the fear
The fear of failure
Fear of more heartbreak
I know how disappointed in me he would be
And that is why I cry


Copyright © 2009   Lena “Lolita” Townsend

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Bryan Bolton December 11, 2009 at 8:08 PM Wow you captured where I am right now in my life - thanks for writing and sharing this

Dean Masciarelli November 18, 2009 at 10:30 AM Bless your heart Lena, No matter how difficult it may be never allow doubt to stand in the way to victory, it may not happen in a day or a week,But you can achieve anything you want to achieve if you just give yourself half a chance you can suceed, Plant a seed within your mind and nurture it so that it can grow and you will be surprised what you can do, I can understand what you are going through because I have gone through it too.God bless you , Dean www.poetrypoem.com/poet3238

Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen November 18, 2009 at 4:54 AM Very sad, Lolita. And very well written. Love and friendship can be forever. Even, when it has passed on. Remember the wonderful. Embrace the good. FORGIVE the cause (break up or death...) Be around people and things you enjoy. And chase away painful thoughts by making yourself sing your favorite song. Only then can you smile again. Remember forever. Love to you. Dane Ann

John Loving Iii November 10, 2009 at 5:06 PM deeply emotional. jhl

James Marshall Goff November 7, 2009 at 5:25 AM whoooshhh! really incredible emotion in this awesome poem! Lena! jimbo

Carolyn Devonshire November 4, 2009 at 8:12 AM We must be in the same zone right now, Lolita. "Fear of more heartbreak" makes me reluctant to pursue new relationships. I can tell you are one who loves deeply, passionately and eternally. Very heartfelt words in this well-penned poem! Love, carolyn

Brian Strand November 4, 2009 at 7:52 AM Thank you for your welcome blog comments today Lena.Rgds Brian

Sue Mason November 1, 2009 at 3:46 PM Sweet write here, Lena ... I can't believe how those tears can reappear out of the blue of the past even though I think I'm "done with that" ... smile ...

Brian Strand November 1, 2009 at 1:00 AM Thank you for your welcome blog comment Lena.Rgds Brian

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire October 31, 2009 at 5:57 AM Dear Lolita, the Love in YOUR Heart drips over the reader May I dry YOUR Heartfelt tears For how could anyone be disappointed in such a caring person AN AWESOME write LOVE ALWAYS...HG

Amy Crofts October 31, 2009 at 3:34 AM this is really good love,amy-eve