Why Him

Sometimes I trip out when I think about the crazy stuff we did as kids. It makes me sad to know we won't ever be able to share new memories as adults and grow. When I talk to you, it's like I am talking to a wall. Nothing penetrates your soul and that kills me to know. I feel as though I lost the only brother I had to an invisible monster. I sit and wonder who am I to ever feel defeated;when I know the old you is somewhere in your brain cell constantly taking a beating. In micro moments you probably feel him, but that monster won't let the real you back in long enough to reveal him. To be locked out of your body and imprisoned in your brain. The things I bet you think, and to know you feel like nobody knows your pain. I'm sad I can't be around this new you with much ease, and honestly it's because I know that monster laughs as the old you cowards at his knees. Taunting you while you are begging to be free, just to feel the way you once did with your friends and family. Damn I wish we were kids, wish we could rewind and go back to the very day that monster started renting your time. I love you brother, you are always on my mind. .