Why Do I

I can’t find the words to tell you how I feel
You confuse me, you excite me
You make me feel like something
But I know I’m alone and alone

I feel safe that way
But somehow I feel threatened
I can’t handle that
I won’t go there

I feel my world closing in on me
And the bonds grow tighter and tighter
And the air I breathe is desperation
For the only way out

You talk about being more than friends
And yes you are right
Perhaps that is my fright
Perhaps that is my fear

I wondered and I pondered
Since the last time we spoke
What was it in me
That let my fear provoke

When you told me before
That someone you met
Meant something to you
And you where happy as yet

I was happy for you
And really pleased too
That some female had touched
Some deep part of you

But now as we chat
I feel so much drawn in
But I don’t want to go there
And I create all this din

So often it seems
That we spark off each other
With words or expressions
Or simply just nuther


So much of me wants 
To simply be friends
And hold one another 
In words that are wins

And then there is that part
That knows its unfair
That questions the truth
And why you are there

You have every right
To just be upset
Cause that is the part
That shows no respect

More and more lately
I just feed and feel
That emotions are something
That step in and steal

But honey my babe,
I need you to know
That some part of me holds you
With memories untold

Its hard to say bye
But I feel like I must
Cause just take a look
I act like a nut

I’m going on and going on
Cause its hard to finalise
Its hard to just think
This is my last goodbye

Copyright © Robyn Blauw | Year Posted 2007

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