Why can't I go beyond

Don't think that my "not putting my things away" in the moment right when you hushed to sit on my table side, it was a longer decision. A decision I am okay with. A decision I have dealt thought and talked with. It was a coincidence that made my mind blurt. You were heading laughing with others to blind my side. So how would you see me flinching aside? My eyes were just seatching Lots of others to look in for sounds of others. When it was the final end, and your decision was made to get off and go away. Why was your hand still on the end of mine? I took the chair and put it on the table still. But not harshly on your fingers but beneath. Why was I going slow? After some minutes you then realized and went away. Did I do slowly to Check? Oh honey are you scared he will make you scare away?