Why?

Why can't I be normal? Why do I have to fake a smile, then die as no one sees that it's fake? Why do I have to wait for someone to care enough to climb over the wall I've built? Why do I look, but not see? Why does the world seem to hate me? Why do I feel so alone? Why can't I be a kid? Why does every sad song seem to apply to me? Why do I seem so insensitive? Why do I shut people out, when all I want is to let someone in? Why do I live life the way I do, knowing it is wrong, but still live it that way? Why do I hear voices telling me something is wrong? Why won't the nagging in my ear go away? Why can't I find love? Why don't I let anyone love me? Why don't I love myself? Why do I try to act carefree, but all I do is worry? Why do people tell me not to care what other people think, then I try to be myself, they tell me to stop because people are staring? Why do adults tell us kids that two wrongs don't make a right, and then they go seeking vengence? Why must I act as though I'm not slowly dying? Why must I only be able to cry on the inside? Why must I put on a brave face for everything? Why does my mom call me names that aren't right for a mother to call a daughter? Why do Mom and Dad always fight? Why are my brother and I the subject of all the fights, and are not allowed to have a say in anything that is said? Why do my mom and dad say things about each other they don't mean? Why did they bother having us, if they knew it wasn't going to work? Why do people always leave, even when they promise to say? Why do I have to live up to expectations in oreder to be loved by my mother? Why can't anyone answer these questions for me?