Why?

My body.
Fragile, soft, and pathetic
No mass lies on these bones
Conditions worsen as days pass
Pushing myself harder
Crashing back down from laziness..
Why?

My Education.
Possible, easy, yet failed
No assignment seems worthy tonight
Percentages drop as paper weight multiplies
Trying to make time for completion
Forgetting to focus by choice..
Why?

My Love.
Needed, ready, but confused
No girl appears ideal to blind eyes
Relationships die as care turns to lust
Discovering what I really want
Crushing every great opportunity..
Why?

My Music.
Loved, practiced, and frozen
No songs nourished enough to exist
Strumming continuously with no result
Playing and listening with so much care
Creating no worthy product in the end..
Why?

My Mind.
Open, understanding, but inexperienced
No useful knowledge recorded often
A beautiful possibility gone to waste
Imagining and believing with good intentions
Shot down and killed by the majority and self..
Why?

My Future.
Foreseen, exciting, yet hopeless
No motivation lifting me from my chair
There's no reason for my excuses
Burning desires scream for my success
Extinguished by self-pity and realization..
Why?

My Problem.
Wishing I could say from where it generated
Mistakes are increasing in number and intensifying
Denying outside hands while knowing mine are dependent
All I believe I need is a guiding hand..
Or maybe I'm just a mental malfunction..

Why do I feel this way?
Why does everyone love me?
What is wrong with me?
Is there something I'm not doing right?
Can I not escape this insanity I've created?
How can I escape this cloud of disgust?

I just want to know..

.. Why?

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