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Susan Ashley - Premium Member

Poet Monchielle Stanza

Notes About The Poem

January 18, 2024

~ Second Place ~
Premiere Contest: One More Monchielle Stanza
Sponsor: Emile Pinet

White Lily Against Black Background

Piano music plays.
Soft notes emote mid air,
like tear-stung doves they fly 
in atmosphere of fog.
The clouds, they shroud the sky. 

Piano music plays, 
the keys, they seize my blues—
the depth of blue, so vast.
Poetic ivories 
caressed, recite the past. 

Piano music plays.
Dull echoes haunt the halls, 
sonatas without soul.
Since wick and flame lost light
my world as dark as coal. 

Piano music plays,
the white noise like a ghost.
My fluid fingers mourn 
these melodies of you—
black thorns on rose reborn.

Copyright © Susan Ashley | Year Posted 2024

griefheartbreaklost lovemusicmonchielle stanza

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Christina Bowring

March 3, 2024 at 1:17 PM

Dearest Susan, many, many congratulations on your win with this truly beautiful Monchielle. I’m so sorry for my slight delay but I’ve had a nasty virus and not been very active the last few days. This is so exquisitely haunting and atmospheric. I can hear the piano keys amongst the melancholy. The last stanza is so touching, so profound. Another magnificent poem from your golden pen. So much to admire here and appreciate. I’m so honoured to share the podium with you my poetic heroine.

March 3, 2024 at 5:47 PM

Dearest Christina, brilliant-star poetess, I'm thrilled to receive your beautiful comments and cherish both your response to my poem and your heartwarming congrats. Thank you for sharing in the melancholy and imagination of this piece with me. It's such an honor to share the podium with my you, lovely friend. Your golden pen gleams in the white light of your poetic artistry! I'm so sorry to hear of you recent illness. I hope your feel better sooner than later, dearest Christina. Ever your admirer, gifted poetess! Sending you my warmest wishes and healing hugs.. ~Susan

Christina Bowring

March 3, 2024 at 1:18 PM

Hugs and blessings my dear friend. Your ever admirer, xx

March 1, 2024 at 9:00 AM

Congratulations on your win for this hauntingly beautiful piece!

March 2, 2024 at 7:25 AM

Dear Robert, your visit is a delight. Thank you for your kind congrats and wonderful comment. Both are wonderful to receive. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Linda Alice Fowler

March 1, 2024 at 8:42 AM

Your last two stanzas are outstanding and evoke a certain melancholy Susan. Congratulations! :)

March 2, 2024 at 7:23 AM

Dear Linda, lovely poetess, thank you for sharing in the melancholy of this poem with me and for sharing your inspiring thoughts. Your visit and kind congrats are certainly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

March 1, 2024 at 7:40 AM

Congratulations Suzanne! Your delightful poem "White Lily Against Black Background," has placed "Second" in my contest. Your poem stood out with your superb use of metaphors with a musical theme. Very well done my friend, Emile.

March 2, 2024 at 4:33 PM

Suzanne, please check your Soup Mail, my friend, Emile.

March 2, 2024 at 7:20 AM

Dear Emile, I am honored by my poem's placement in your esteemed contest. It's a pleasure to share the podium with such talented poets/poetesses. Thank you for your wonderful comments, I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my poem. Your contest sponsorship is truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

March 1, 2024 at 2:18 AM

A very beautiful poem, congratulations

March 2, 2024 at 7:18 AM

Dear Terry, thank you for your wonderful comment and kind congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

February 29, 2024 at 9:24 PM

A lovely poem. Congratulations on your win.

March 2, 2024 at 7:18 AM

Dear Thompson, thank you for your uplifting comment and kind congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

February 28, 2024 at 7:02 AM

The soft sensitivity of soulful touch is already felt right from the first stanza, Susan. It is in moments of poignant reminiscence that poetry and music reach heights of delivery, and here you manage that extremely well. ~ Warm regards & Hugs dear friend // paul

March 2, 2024 at 7:16 AM

Dear Paul, it's always a great day when your poetic presence graces my poem! Thank you for your beautiful comments. It takes a sensitive soulful imaginative nature to feel the emotions of another's words on a page, and you see into the heart of my poem extremely well. I'm grateful for your sharing in this poem with me. Warmest wishes my inspiring friend.. ~Susan

January 27, 2024 at 10:20 PM

What a soulful poem dear Susan! This is so deep with feelings of pain. The melancholic tone seeps down into the mind ! Music can drown our pain, sometimes can intensify it also but always providing a cathartic effect. Some lines pierce like raw thorns. "Soft notes emote mid air like tear-stung doves they fly" Pain getting wings and flying ! What wonderful way of expressing ! I have no more words but simply add to my FAVE to re read again.

January 28, 2024 at 5:16 PM

Dearest Valsa, soulful poetess, my heart is filled with delight for your gracious visit and emotive comments. They are as beautiful and as touching as your extraordinary poetry. I'm honored by your appreciation of my poem and by your fave. Thank you, my sweet friend, for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for sharing your precious thoughts. Your presence shines upon my page like sunlight. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Mrs. Yolanda Nicholsen

January 27, 2024 at 10:44 AM

Eloquently written sweetie many blessings enjoyed reading your poem.

January 28, 2024 at 5:11 PM

Dear Yolanda, thank you for your delightful visit and lovely comment. I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich

January 24, 2024 at 5:00 PM

very beautifully written, Susan

January 24, 2024 at 5:40 PM

Dear Andrea, thank you! I relish your lovely comment and visit. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Victor Buhagiar

January 24, 2024 at 11:24 AM

I can relate to the sorrow of losing a dear friend. The thorns remain. Brilliant poem.

January 24, 2024 at 5:59 PM

Dear Victor, your poignant response to my poem is received with appreciation. I'm sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Losing a loved one is heartbreaking but I try to find the beauty in sorrow after the pain has softened. Thank you, my friend, for your kind visit and thoughtful words. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

January 24, 2024 at 4:04 AM

Susan, I had not been familiar with this form until reading your beautiful poem, so rich and deep with feeling! I just love " the keys, they seize my blues". I can just feel myself in similar expression, releasing emotions into the air! Your words are so meaningful!

January 24, 2024 at 6:04 PM

Dear Mike, thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your inspiring response is as soulful as your poignant poetry. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

January 23, 2024 at 1:11 AM

Ahh!! I like this one. If for the contest, it reads like a good contender to me. Way to go. Thank you for sharing it with us and for stopping by my page with congratulations. Sara K

January 24, 2024 at 6:07 PM

Dear Sara, thank you for your uplifting response to my poem. I appreciate your kindness. You're welcome for my visit to your page. I always enjoy your beautiful poetry. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

January 22, 2024 at 2:06 PM

I love these ending lines: "My fluid fingers mourn the melodies of you. O rose … raw thorns reborn." What can be more excruciating than raw thorns reborn? This is a fav for me.

January 24, 2024 at 6:09 PM

Dear Jcb, it's wonderful to see you! I relish your response to my poem. Thank you for sharing your amazing thoughts with me. Your poetic presence is truly appreciated. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Regina Mcintosh

January 22, 2024 at 4:31 AM

WOW! This is beautiful with a reckless, pining beauty that embraces the heart, the soul, all the feelings. It defeats fear and embraces light, softly caressing, like the dew kissed by morning's breath. This is music in poetry and it is music in melodious dreams. I just love this so. You always enchant. God bless you, Susan. I love you, Gina

January 24, 2024 at 6:13 PM

Dearest Gina, your response to my poem is beautiful, tender and touching! Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your thoughts are stunning and inspiring. I am humbled and honored, my sweet friend. Sending you warmest wishes and love.. ~Susan

January 21, 2024 at 3:45 AM

Gosh, this is a soul-moving and heart-touching poem dear Susan..Absolutely one of the best monchielle stanza poems I've read yet, impeccably flowing with poetic glory creating a mellifluous ambience of emotional symphonies..I could hear those notes of piano lyrics, rising in a smokey texture, as "the white noise like a ghost" wanders somewhere in the nostalgia of memories..Every line here made me feel immense depth & I couldn't just move my eyes away! "Poetic ivories" Wow, everything is gorgeous

January 24, 2024 at 5:52 PM

Dear Hiya, I am humbled and honored by your amazing appreciation of my poem and for the distinction of your fav. Your precious comments are received with elation and a smile! Thank you, sweet poetess, for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your soulful spirit shines in both your brilliant poetry and in poetic friendship. Sending you warmest wishes and love my dear friend.. ~Susan

January 21, 2024 at 3:46 AM

It's always an honour for us to read such precious poems by an artistic poetess like you, I really adore how you weave words in a glamorous yet evocative way.. Sending you many best wishes for the contest & lots of love ~ keep shining and writing :) a FAV for me..

January 19, 2024 at 3:26 AM

How beautiful is this monchielle so well written dear susan, i love playing piano, and i must say i love your refrain here and how each stanza just flows in such eloquence in a seamless manner. I especially loved the lines “ the keys, they seize my blues— the depth of blue, so vast. Poetic ivories “ how creative and descriptive is that’ “ sonatas without soul. Since wick and flame lost light“ so deep and moving! Every word in this ws worth reading! Best wishes for the contest. Sending you light

January 20, 2024 at 8:34 AM

Dear Empress, soulful poetess, it's always such a pleasure to receive and read your valued comments. I'm thrilled to know how deeply your felt my poem.. to the lovely depths of your poetic heart! Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me, gifted versifier. Your comments are beautiful, inspiring and truly appreciated. Warmest wishes to you my sweet friend.. ~Susan

Charles Messina

January 19, 2024 at 1:24 AM

This was so nice to read, Susan. Lovely and gorgeous writing, my friend. Warmest Wishes...Have a great weekend! Charlie

January 20, 2024 at 8:23 AM

Dear Charlie, thank you for the delight of your visit and for your uplifting comment. I'm so pleased to know you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes and have a great weekend too.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich

January 18, 2024 at 11:52 PM

So beautiful. Was this for song lines contest?

January 20, 2024 at 8:21 AM

Dear Andrea, thank you for your wonderful comment. this poem was written for Emile's One More Monchielle Stanza contest. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

January 18, 2024 at 11:07 AM

Dearest Susan, your poem about the emotional impact of piano music on your soul while experiencing a sense of loss and longing is just unique. Your word choice in the poem creates a sense of melancholy and longing. The use of phrases such as "tear-stung doves," "an atmosphere of fog," and "the depth of blue, so vast" evokes a feeling of sadness and introspection. This is just a splendid poem, into my favorite.

January 20, 2024 at 8:12 AM

Dear Lasaad, I'm so pleased to know you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for immersing yourself in the emotions of this poem and for sharing your invaluable insights with me. I am humbled by your appreciation of my poem and deeply honored by your designating my poem to your favorites. Thank you my poetry friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

January 18, 2024 at 10:25 AM

My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, the fingers of your soul have flown over your computer keys to create a "sonata" WITH a soul. Every stanza, a unique creation with striking images, your trademark and a hallmark of splendid poetry. I am in awe of images like "a sonata without a soul," "my space inside like coal," "raw thorns reborn," "tear-stung doves" and "the keys, they seize my blues." Pure poetic magic sweet poetry sis. Best wishes for the contest. Blessings of sweet music to you!

January 20, 2024 at 8:09 AM

My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, your comments are like rays of warm sunlight on a chilly day, such a delight to take in! I'm elated by your beautiful response to my poem with its musical references.. being so poetic and musical yourself, I knew you could relate to its soulful song from a sad, reminiscing heart. Your visit is treasured, as your inspiring words are gems I so highly value. Thank you, my sweet poetry sis, for bringing your magic to my poem's page. Your magic has the power to lift my spirits beyond the clouds. Warmest wishes on ivory doves of friendship and joy.. ~Susan

January 18, 2024 at 10:09 AM

You did this form very well and nice first line... nice flow to it and good rhymes.. All the best in the contest..

January 20, 2024 at 7:57 AM

Dear Silent One, your visit is a delight, as always. Thank you for your uplifting comments. They are wonderful to receive. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Daniel Henry Rodgers

January 18, 2024 at 10:02 AM

Susan, your amazing piano weeps through these verses. Each note, a tear-dove soaring, paints a sky heavy with grief. The ivory keys, both solace and torment, sing your sorrow's song, echo haunting empty halls. But through the white noise, your resilience glimmers like a rose reborn from thorns. A hauntingly beautiful poem. - Blessings, Daniel

January 20, 2024 at 7:56 AM

Dear Daniel, there is both beauty and insight in your comments. Indeed, the ivory keys are both "solace and torment" for the speaker of this poem. I truly appreciate your time taken with my poem to read and to comment so soulfully. Thank you my poetic friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

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