Whiskers
If only I could grow a beard
I would stroke it and appear wise
but I'm a'feared it's not to be
no matter how hard I tries
and I hate to think about it
as it always fouls my mood
on me the only hair which sprouts
is due to additives in U.S. food
tho' some are destined to be hirsute
my facial hair issues forth then fades
yet after all if nothing else
it saves on razor blades
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