Where Were You Tonight

The wind beats blue against my chest tonight Of all the days you could have left – Nail my palms to my eyes I don’t want to see What the world has done to me. The swollen silver sky begins to spray Its own tears of sympathy I tightly cup pretty pastel lilies through closed eyes. I want to forget you left me The smell of flowers takes me back to when I was 16 I knew happiness when we shared our first date in Denver. Tonight, I feel a hand that is not yours smoothing my tears. Will you be ok, tonight? My tongue sticks like a melted marshmallow Every person knows I won’t be, ok, don’t ask me that! And when everyone has left their “condolence casseroles” I will shut my door and lay in our bed alone for the first time of many I’ll have to learn to breathe differently Now, but at least the twisted metal spared you this pain. We bled together in the street, our fingers Managed to find each other for the last time. I held your pinky tight. And when the dim glow in your eyes went out, I knew nothing Would ever make me forget how you said goodbye with a gasp. I’ll stare at the same white walls I used to write imaginary, angry poems on about you It feels different to know when I turn around, you won’t be there to annoy me. How dare you, Chris! How dare you make me live on without you.