Where Was I When I Needed Me

i bathed in mordacious threats,
always leading in mordant speech; 
perpetual hatred-
so i became unified with my essence,
goodbye to that vitriolic fiend...
             ~i should have i n t e r v e n e d ~

an unholy sacrificial lamb is all who 
i am going to be and who I always was;
that makes the hypocrite in me lust 
for redemption

a fever envelopes head to toe, 
it feels not the heat,
but
the chill running down my nape to 
my back to my thighs…
on and
on and 
on and…
never ceasing to release my hunger 
for more;
so, i run to fields of yore and i 
wish to not be poor…
                of heart

amongst the rays of a sunbeam,
i prepare for the coming kismet-
a future with possibilities coming
true for no one but me

i wear too much rouge upon my cheeks,
it shields me from the youth i endured 
yet
reveals who i wish to be;
~the woman of dulcet dreams~
             o, life not as it seems…

fated to be the one who wears pride,
caring not for the ones who rescued me,
but wishing to see who i want to be
in a crystalline mirror-
fogginess of the worst kind prevails and
i am always the one who fails

sailing onto shores of 
where faded seasons convened-
wailing without hope...
               ~i should have  i n t e r v e n e d ~


2.10.20
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Watt Avatar
May 27, 2020 at 2:01 PM
Laura, this is poignant introspection of deep waters, of a soul hungering for redemption, dreaming of going back to more innocent and carefree days. Honesty and vulnerability, beautifully stated. I loved your title and refrains. I only wish this had received more comments to acknowledge its worth. I find it to be amazing, as is your talent for poetry. Hugs ~ John
Kauffman Avatar
February 10, 2020 at 11:03 PM
Congratulations LuLoo!
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