Where the Thorns Remember Me

Date: June 17, 2025

I wandered through a bleeding dusk,
the wind forgot my name.
A rose was growing from the dust—
I reached, and it became

the fog that hums like swallowed screams.
My lungs forget to breathe.
I taste old blood beneath my tongue.
Each petal cuts me in my sleep—
what did I dare believe?

Each step I took was stitched with fear,
my lungs too tired to cry.
The thorns grew taller year by year—
no stars remained in sky.

The rose I found—its crimson face
still beautiful, still wrong.
It bled me when I touched its grace
and whispered, “You belong.”

I walk through air too thin to hold.
The sky is ash and rust.
I don’t know if I’m growing old—
or simply turning dust.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

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Ashley Avatar
July 31, 2025 at 8:14 AM
Dear poet, your poem is filled with intriguing imagery and emotion. Striking use of metaphors enthralled my imagination and moved my soul, especially striking was "I walk through air too thin to hold./The sky is ash and rust." - wow! Your last stanza is a portent and poignant finale to an exceptional and expressive piece. Congratulations for your success in Craig's contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
trude from the ruins Avatar
August 1, 2025 at 3:47 AM
Dear Susan, Thank you so much for your kind and generous words. Your comment truly touched me. I'm especially grateful that the final stanza resonated with you—it means a lot to know that the imagery and emotion spoke to you in that way. Writing Where the Thorns Remember Me was a deeply personal experience, and your response reminded me why we share poetry in the first place: to reach across the silence and connect through feeling. I'm honored that you felt that connection. Thank you again for taking the time to read and leave such a thoughtful message. Wishing you continued inspiration and light in your own creative journey. Warmest regards, Becoming
Cornish Avatar
July 29, 2025 at 12:41 PM
This would have been first except for verse two being 5 lines...
Cornish Avatar
July 29, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Thank you, that's fine, except that breaks the rule of equalized line length if it was written that way - and why I made that a rule as well - great writing however!
trude from the ruins Avatar
July 29, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Thanks so much for pointing that out! I realize now it looked like 5 lines, but lines 2 and 3 are actually one complete sentence. I had just broken them for rhythm and visual pacing. When put on one line, the stanza clearly becomes a quatrain. I hope this explanation helps — thank you for your time and understanding!
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