Where His Insanity Is Replaced With Echoing Song

Who am I? Like a caterpiller becoming a moth I transform and change and rearrange myself to grow better, to become better, to know God more and more yet there is this insanity, this madness, this lost of control in the process of giving more than all of your Heart and Mind and Soul to God along with all of your strength. Letting everything hang on faith, on the unseen, on trust, on Love of God and Jesus and The Holy Ghost It's maddening: To deny yourself, to fight yourself, to let go of control of yourself to God to feel as if everything is falling apart when it's actually falling into place to allow yourself to suffer, to be in confrontaiton with the world, to be in confusion going through the whole spectrum of emotions and remain self-disiplined and controled letting go of the old to pick up the new and all you can do is simply be patient and wait... All you can do is learn through the experiences that you would never have gone down without God without blaming God, without cursing God, without being angry with God over what we can't comprehend So Who will I become? Who is the future me going to be... The closer to God I become, the more I learn of my flaws, of weaknesses, of myself of all of the areas that I need to improve where my ego meets humility where my picture of who I am meets reality and when you try your best and you fail or when you don't give your best and you fail you feel like hell inside when you care and try and end up losing the battle you feel like hell and weak and flawed and that is the price of caring at times the price of growing is handling your failures and mistakes to keep going and never give up even when you feel like you are on the edge of an abyss where you can easily slip and throw everything away into the starless black pit where there is only regret So, I raise my glass to the future man I'm going to become and hope for the best that he made it along Home with God and Home with Self Where his insanity is replaced with echoing song...