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Where Frozen Embers Still Burn : the Funny Version

where frozen embers still burn
my doctor says is a thing you earn
i ask him if it is a large mass
as he quietly looks up my ass

i politely tell him it is on this side not there
he says he is being thorough there a pair
true i guess though i'm sure one hangs lower
much lower than the other up and over

where frozen embers still burn
i thought had cleared up in my youth
i knew i shouldn't have slept with Ruth
i should have done an about turn

everyone warned me about her
in fact that's why i courted her
what they thought i should fear
sounded like music to my ear

i lost the other ear while i was out hunting
there's a frozen ember i still hear ringing
just then i hear the Doc yell with an echo
his face still behind me his mouth down low

its not your balls those are hemorrhoids
boy their big they must be on steroids
be sensitive there sir those are my parts
makes you want to release a couple of farts

where frozen hemorrhoids burn and hang
no woman should yearn to touch or bang
i'll get them removed my dear lassies
don't mind mine and i won't your falsies
 
if per chance this deep poetry i just penned
has got you hot and thinking of my tight end
where frozen embers still burn my heart is yours
a woman as special as you this old man adores

Copyright © Maurice Yvonne | Year Posted 2014

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Andrea Dietrich Date: 12/10/2014 3:16:00 PM oh, I see this one again and that she actually CAME here and told you it would have won.DANG, do you never even entered it? Don't listen to my advice ever again if you left it out because of anything I said. I am just now reading the funny comment you had said to me back when I first commented on this one. You have great wit! Login to Reply

Bl Devnath Date: 8/31/2014 11:17:00 AM Hilarious poem indeed penned very artistically. Ha ha hi hi! Smile silently. Loved always, my poet friend, bl Login to Reply Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/31/2014 10:07:00 PM thank you so much for your kind comments.

Brenda Meier-Hans Date: 8/28/2014 9:47:00 AM Bahaha I am still laughing as I write this. But no, I am not hot You didn't quite hit that spot. Enjoyed your poem friend And hope they fix that end. Brenda Login to Reply Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/28/2014 4:03:00 PM i love your "Bahaha". thank you.

Sara Kendrick Date: 8/28/2014 9:31:00 AM Its been read..Sara Login to Reply Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/28/2014 3:59:00 PM thank you Sara. lots of love.

Tim Smith Date: 8/28/2014 8:53:00 AM haha...another work of art....hehe Login to Reply Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/28/2014 4:00:00 PM you are referring to my finger painting art. haha .thanks tim.

Jan Allison Date: 8/28/2014 8:27:00 AM Please read my latest poem Maurice:-) hugs Jan xxx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/28/2014 4:11:00 PM :-) I am so pleased you are getting the recognition you deserve for this poem:-) Hugs Jan xx Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/28/2014 4:01:00 PM like my favorite poem ever.

Eileen Manassian Date: 8/28/2014 6:13:00 AM I must say, this took or a bend I never expected. It was good to get the unexpected. Thanks for sharing. :) Login to Reply Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/28/2014 4:02:00 PM love your work Eileen thank you.

Jan Allison Date: 8/28/2014 4:11:00 AM Just re read the poem Maurice it really is hilarious - I entered my first poem 'Just deserts' into a humour contest here - didn't even raise a smile with the judge so don't really try humour in contests unless it is asked for and maybe my 'british humour isnt always understood lol. Would love to see this top of the podium - would be a miracle! Hugs Jan xxx Login to Reply Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/28/2014 4:18:00 AM thank you Jan i did not enter this in the contest. lots of love.

Andrea Dietrich Date: 8/28/2014 12:41:00 AM hahaha. I chuckled out loud at least four times in this one. That means it is good and funny. Ummm, to tell you the truth though, I will be kind of shocked if you get on the winners' list. I tried something like this in one of her contests one time, and oh boy, it did not work out. but you never know . You might get lucky, my friend. Maybe you will push her tickle button just right! Login to Reply Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/28/2014 4:01:00 AM i am glad it made you laugh. i have no false delusions about this poem being a contest winner. it is not entered in the contest. if i decide to write one for the contest i will be using a thesaurus a dictionary and a rhyming site as well as hiring a an intertional team of writers. i was also thinking the local pastor to bless it. then if i lose i lose i don't want to take this contest thing too seriously.

Skat A Date: 8/27/2014 8:07:00 PM MAURICE, this is that special kind of sweet. Many different ways, in burning that frozen ember. enjoyed. SKAT Login to Reply Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/28/2014 4:04:00 AM makes you want to jump me doesn't it.

Jan Allison Date: 8/27/2014 7:29:00 PM I am crying with laughter here Maurice. I have got to say hemorrhoids are simply a pain in the arse. Am favouriting this for when i need a real giggle:-) thank you you have made my day with your humour:-) Hugs jan xxx Login to Reply Maurice Yvonne Date: 8/28/2014 4:06:00 AM i have to confess i made up a lot of it. i have never dated a girl named Ruth.