When the Rain Comes

When the rain comes in blunt despair
With swords of Thor's thunderous wield
The clouds drape darkness everywhere
As light surrendered, as hope kneeled

Where desolated gloom revealed
A drab landscape that once was fair
Limbs barren in deserted fields
When the rain comes in blunt despair

Drowning sunsets in silver flares
Tomorrow's rainbows lie concealed
In mazes of charcoal nightmares
With swords of Thor's thunderous wield

This is where all your heroes yield
To stars laden in disrepair
Where souls sink, murky and congealed
The clouds drape darkness everywhere

When suns are lost and moons are rare
The mornings cut apart and peeled
The sky is strangely unaware
As light surrendered, as hope kneeled

When shelter remains unrevealed
And the horizon appears bare
Allow me to become your shield
Against the snare of sharpened air
When the rain comes

3/11/23
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Delaney Avatar
November 7, 2023 at 3:17 AM
Michelle ….This is such an impressive piece with a beautiful flow of descriptive lines. You really nailed this form in style. Best, SuZ
Y. Avatar
March 25, 2023 at 1:47 PM
Wow! Michelle, You penned such a good poem for the contest. It flows well and the imagery is amazing. You made it look easy, I know firsthand that's it not. Best wishes in the contest:-) Alexis
Faulkner Avatar
April 6, 2023 at 10:38 AM
Thank you very much Alexis
Rose  Avatar
March 25, 2023 at 3:42 AM
wow one of your best Michelle. You are skillful at this form, "This is where all your heroes yield" amazing words like magic they appear to make me feel. Gl in the contest, :)
Faulkner Avatar
March 25, 2023 at 7:41 AM
I am very flattered and honored, thank you again for your encouraging words~
Peck Avatar
March 24, 2023 at 3:46 PM
This is so lovely, Michelle, particularly "as light surrendered, as hope kneeled. Also "when suns are lost and moons are rare." This seemed like a really difficult form when I read the contest. You make it seem effortless. Best of luck!
Faulkner Avatar
March 24, 2023 at 8:42 PM
Thank you again, Ann, you had commented on this one before but am always glad for seconds :)
Bueckert Avatar
March 21, 2023 at 10:09 AM
This is fantastic Michelle, your repeating lines are flawless, looks like a win to me, great poem !
Faulkner Avatar
March 22, 2023 at 10:36 AM
I am so flattered, thank you for your comment-
Kaufman Avatar
March 18, 2023 at 7:07 AM
This is such a fascinating poetry form. I'm amazed by it frankly, the way you carried the rhyme scheme like that. Extremely gifted writer here.
Faulkner Avatar
March 19, 2023 at 5:09 PM
Thank you very much, Nancy, I appreciate your kind words~
Watt Avatar
March 17, 2023 at 9:45 PM
I admire the craft work here, the repeating lines woven into the narrative and all those endings with only two rhymes, wow. But you are especially grand at creating original phrasing, "in blunt despair", "as hope kneeled", "the snare of sharpened air", plus the three Laura mentioned. Also the allusion to Thor. Really fabulous word painting, my friend. A Fav ~ John
Faulkner Avatar
March 19, 2023 at 5:08 PM
Yes this form can be a challenge but also rewarding, (thank goodness for rhymezone!) Actually the line with Thor was the trickeist to get right, thank you as always for your supportive comments, and also the fave :)
Leiser Avatar
March 17, 2023 at 12:44 PM
You set the mood and imagery so masterfully in your poetic phrases, Michelle…”drowning sunsets in silver flames” “stars laden in disrepair” “mornings cut apart and peeled”! I am in awe of your creativity! This one deserves top placement in the contest! :)
Faulkner Avatar
March 19, 2023 at 5:06 PM
I am flattered, thank you so much, Laura
Daniel Avatar
March 16, 2023 at 7:10 PM
A brilliant poem, Michelle, flows so smoothly, "as light surrendered, as hope kneeled" - awesome imagery and personification:)
Faulkner Avatar
March 17, 2023 at 7:33 AM
Thank you kindly, Jo, appeciate it
Wolf Avatar
March 11, 2023 at 6:39 PM
A fine poem, Michelle... Adding my two cents: When the rain comes, let me be indoors, please... Have a blessed Sunday and a Happy Week! ~ Gershon
Faulkner Avatar
March 11, 2023 at 9:44 PM
Yes that's the best place to be, thanks so much gw
Pandit Avatar
March 11, 2023 at 11:58 AM
Splendidly done in this hard to execute form, Michelle. Great imagery dwelling in emotions. No doubt a winner.
Faulkner Avatar
March 11, 2023 at 1:42 PM
I appreciate your kind words, thank you Vijay
Salehi Avatar
March 11, 2023 at 10:41 AM
exceptional poetry...
Faulkner Avatar
March 11, 2023 at 1:41 PM
Thank you very much, Pashang
Peck Avatar
March 11, 2023 at 8:39 AM
Michelle, Your poem is incredibly beautiful! So strong and metaphorical. You chose such a difficult form (at least to me) and wrote it perfectly. Good luck in contest (I bet it wins) :)
Faulkner Avatar
March 11, 2023 at 8:47 AM
Thank you so much, Ann, this one took some time to come together, I am glad you liked it~
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace