When the Heart Breaks

My heart breaks so readily nowadays--
at hearing of the sudden death of a friend
or witnessing the slow death of another.
My heart is wrenched to see dementia
in my lovely neighbor with her lovely 
English accent, and the 'Oh my dears',
knowing her sparkling voice might 
soon be stilled as she moves slowly
and irretrievably back into childhood....

I want to ask God the why, the why not
of this part of His Grand Design--but 
I know there will be no answer--though
maybe I already have a partial answer:
for when I was young and selfish 
(and perhaps even callous),
my heart did not see, 
my heart did not hear, 
my heart knew neither longing nor joy-- 
it was as though my heart were dead, 
unfeeling, unresponsive... and fearful, 
oh, so very fearful...

Now my heart lives and breathes and
feels pain and loss and joy: oh, the joy!
The joy that comes on seeing a friend,
on hearing my wife call out to me, or 
a sonata I have loved for sixty years.
The joy of feeling the sun's heat whilst 
walking under the deepest blue sky and 
breathing in cool air, breathing in life....

Is that what God wanted all along,
that I unclothe my heart and bear it
naked to the world, in hope and love?
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Kauffman Avatar
January 12, 2020 at 6:00 PM
Hi L.J. Really wonderful. The questions of our hearts elegantly and poignantly expressed. Congratulations on your win Well deserved.
Carber Avatar
January 14, 2020 at 10:11 AM
Thanks Sam, much appreciated!
Chiri Avatar
January 12, 2020 at 1:05 PM
A wonderful poem LJ! Congratulations my friend on a top win!;)
Carber Avatar
January 14, 2020 at 10:11 AM
Thank you, mi amiga!
Imtiaz Avatar
October 26, 2018 at 11:15 PM
A beautiful expression of pain and sorrows inside your heart. feels the same pain with you
Carber Avatar
October 27, 2018 at 8:43 AM
Thank you, Muhammad, I appreciate it.
Wolf Avatar
October 19, 2018 at 2:56 PM
Excellent, L.J. -- That is, indeed, exactly what G-d wanted! You nailed it. Nice free verse exposition of your insight. Best wishes, Gershon
Carber Avatar
October 19, 2018 at 9:54 PM
Much appreciated, my friend
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