When Our Own Words Turn Against Us

I can't erase the death threats I now know I never should have sent. At the time, I was protecting myself. To make sure he stayed away. When everything snowballed I heard someone say, "He's been through a lot, give him a break" It was clear none of them cared. Not for me anyway. Why should they? They didn't know me, but he, He was their boy. Those few who stood by me, Were ostracized. I know that I was lucky. Luckier than most. Lucky that I had already left the building. That I had not met him inside. Lucky that he seemed to have a conscience, And stopped, when I promised my husband would chop it off. Or maybe it was because he was a "good guy" At least that's what everyone keeps saying to me. When they aren't telling me I made it up. And those who weren't there to see, Those who pitied his past loss, Rush to his defense. Immediately, saying it never happened. That is their "proof" I look at his finger prints, Still black on my thigh. A constant reminder of an event that "never happened" I regretted the texts I sent. Even apologized. Acknowledging how wrong it was. But it didn't matter. It was all she needed to shield her son. Those words I sent for my own protection, She now dangles over my head like a wrecking ball. Threatening legal action if I step out of line.