What’s Up Doc

I went to the docs for a blood test; routine That morning I’d been on the weighing machine So I knew my weight and my height… give or take (And, okay, I don’t look a lot like a rake) He asked me my height and he asked me my weight Which I may not have known on an earlier date I said, “Five-eleven and fifteen stone-ish,” Then thought I’d impress him… “I eat lots of fish.” But he shook his head with a quiet, “Tutt tutt” As I sat and stared at the size of his gut He told me that I ought to lose excess weight I just had to say, “Are you serious, Mate?” I think that upset him, for that’s when he said, “Male, sixty-five? Hop up on the bed…” Through dry lips I muttered, “O, heavens above.” He said, “This won’t hurt,” and he slipped on a glove…