What’s Up Doc

I went to the docs for a blood test; routine
That morning I’d been on the weighing machine
So I knew my weight and my height… give or take
(And, okay, I don’t look a lot like a rake)

He asked me my height and he asked me my weight
Which I may not have known on an earlier date
I said, “Five-eleven and fifteen stone-ish,”
Then thought I’d impress him… “I eat lots of fish.”

But he shook his head with a quiet, “Tutt tutt”
As I sat and stared at the size of his gut
He told me that I ought to lose excess weight
I just had to say, “Are you serious, Mate?”

I think that upset him, for that’s when he said,
“Male, sixty-five? Hop up on the bed…”
Through dry lips I muttered, “O, heavens above.”
He said, “This won’t hurt,” and he slipped on a glove…
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

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Bauer Avatar
August 17, 2024 at 11:52 AM
ha! that'll teach you to keep your thoughts to yourself, terry! thanks for the grin...
Flood Avatar
August 18, 2024 at 2:33 PM
Glad you enjoyed my (slightly embellished) predicament, Ilene.
Kavanagh  Avatar
August 17, 2024 at 5:05 AM
Imagine slipping on a glove in the Doc’s surgery, I don’t get this one at all, can you be more specific! Lol, nice work Terry, Cheers David
Flood Avatar
August 18, 2024 at 2:41 PM
Thankfully, that final stanza was fiction. The doc, about three stone heavier than me… was gospel… except he was a she and I bit my tongue about the weight thing. So… more or less true then… almost!
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