What the Hell
Why is the “p” silent in receipt?
Why is “no” not the same as “know,”
Or “new” and “knew?”
And if someone says “there,”
Why do we know
They don’t mean “their” or “they’re?”
I read a note from a redneck up yonder
Said “Hay man, ya got a doller?”
Well I don’t, not that I’d give it to ‘em anyway.
(Probably makes more than me too)
I s’pose he couldn’t talk a lick, hence the note.
Some say I talk funny in these here parts,
but what would one expect
from a Yankee from ‘hia anyhow?
Everybody knows everybody here
‘cause I think they’s all related somehow.
The lady down the street, I swear
is married to her daddy,
her grandfather also her step-uncle.
Jack down the road is all in a tizzy
wondrin’ who’s yer daddy.
Up in Minnesota I found
a word can take half-hour from start to end
where a soda is a pop… there is no spelling
of which I can describe – can you?
But I met a man from Harvard t’other day
asked him “’scuse me sir, where’s the library at?”
With pomp and serious demeanor he says to me,
“Here at Harvard, we never
end a sentence in a preposition.”
So I says to the prep, “OK, where’s the library at…
*******!”
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