What the Bartender Heard

Please pass me a double with 100-proof zing No, I’ve no money, but I’ll pay with this ring Yes, it’s a diamond yet it lost its luster I found him with her; my mind did fluster So I tossed the harlot out of our house And called him a thoughtless cheating louse I’ll need more booze if you want to hear more There are some trespasses you can’t ignore Shot him in the kneecap, crippled that lout So now there’ll be no more running about Hey, that ring’s two carats, worth a refill I’ll take another shot of this swill I tossed him the cell to call 9-1-1 My goose is cooked; the law will soon come Fill one more to go ‘fore I hit the road And thanks for allowing me to reload *Entry for Natalie’s “Confessions to a Bartender” contest