What Should I Do

My life here & now is far from what or how I thought it was gonna be... I thought we had cracked it you & me... I thought it was our time to shine, to stand out To ride & die until the end...  Growing old together...  Our sadness & madness all in one place finally at peace, No disgrace on either face... Happy finally looking at you... That was us no matter what, that's what I believed... What a fool I am indeed...  I cant believe I fooled myself like you fooled me... How I've been deceived by you... I've been trying while you've been lying... You've too been untrue... You've broke my heart once again...  I'm not in a trance, but how long we been dancing this disloyal dance... I thought what happened before was only by chance... Never to be repeated... No this is much worse, the better I get, the worse you seem to treat me... How can I now believe any words that you only ever repeat to me...? Its like you think I forget, Or that I'm just plain old dumb silly...? You say one thing, but your actions go another way... Actions speak louder than words, that's the truth in what your actions show... Hurting me more than I care to know... And try my up most not to show...  But its killing me this you already know...  What can I do when I love you so...?