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'what In Whom,' Is Everything

To hear them is what's easy
But to understand them
I wouldn't make much of them

I don't know how to feel them
Given only the numbness
Or how to say them
Given only the discomfort
And tightness amongst the neck
Yet I'm told that I show them

How could I want something,
I don't understand
Let alone be uncertain of their works
Of the actions they place,
that I can't feel

I smile but am uncertain
Uncertain about why I don't feel
Since or understand them

With them
I don't mix with
But sit below them
Like the water's and oil's
I do not blend

When I reach
They draw away
And I receive nothing
But that empty light of pink
A color drawn for nothing
But to represent them

I don't have them in me
But if they do sees to exist,
then may they be that speck in my heart,
be of dust

Even if they show, will it be of lust or purity
I can't say what they are
Or how they will resonate
But the truth is uncertainty
And the ability of the emo to lack them

This may explain the loneliness that's felt
As well as the numbness that created the emptying

I want them so the freedom will stay
I need them so that I won't die away
But it seems forbidden from heart,
which causes this pain to storm in my cages

I have everything
But yet, I feel like I have nothing

That's why the livid stay's and darkness rises
They are still gone
And no one knows or sees it
A struggle for the heart to express them

I may care but it does not mean that it bares
the life for them

I may see what I can't touch
And I may feel the sick tighten the vest,
but it does not make me oblivious to them
I'm aware and respect with no words
But fall flat with no knowledge of their voice
And wonder if their sound will ever reach me
Because "they in them," is everything
Everything I cant seem to reach

Copyright © Savoy Boddie | Year Posted 2015

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