What If

Biden has never felt weller
He’s seen off that crazy-haired fella
With boxes to dump
Of votes ticked for Trump
He simply can’t move in his cellar.

           ***

Neil Armstrong had NASA to please
He slowly got down on his knees
He dug up a rock
And got quite a shock
And said ‘Yum... it really is cheese.’

           ***

Pythagoras drove a big wedge
He said the world’s round with no ledge
Columbus was stressed
When in the Crow’s nest
He cried, ‘We've gone over the edge‘

           ***

That Alexander Graham Bell
At least as far as I can tell
His chisels he’d hone,
Carved a dog and a bone
Marconi had made one as well

           ***

Alexander Fleming earned his shilling
By working so hard and so willing
He ate mouldy bread
But before he was dead
He invented a pen with a quill in

           ***

Adam, it seems, had no mother
But God had sent Adam a lover
Eve, naked in bed
Was sad when he said
Hi ducks, have you got a brother?

           ***

The asteroid wouldn’t desist
It’s path wouldn’t turn, wouldn’t twist 
That fireball from space
flew by at a pace 
A caveman said f*ck me, it missed

           ***

That covid was terribly cruel
It just wouldn't run out of fuel
We first sent rebukes
And then we sent nukes
When Xi Jinping said ‘April Fool’

           ***

Isaac Newton is astounded
The apple has left him confounded
His half crazy stare
As it floats in mid air
Is strange for he’s always so grounded

           ***

No seconds, no minutes, no hours,
A cosmos of dust and gas showers 
They’d clash and they’d clang 
To make a big bang...
Phut!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020



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