What I Don'T Want For Christmas

Santa came last year Giving me whistles and blow horns and socks covered in pairs But that is not what I want Not socks or whistles or blow horns it ain't fair Not stuffed animals but real ones who roar and have long hair I am not complaining Just stating what I well and truly deserve since I care I don't want foam balls that require me leaving the house Maybe a video game or two where you battle to the death Not a boring board like one with the marble and the mouse What about a red nerf gun, maybe three or four I'll need someone to play with And play with some more I want chocolate and lots of big toys yes I do With the fire red helmets who sing little tunes Not coal or potatoes or icky, sticky, slimy green goo But the ones who fight the bad guys off and fly to the moon Not the girly ones with golden locks and pink bows in their hair The big bad muscly ones who fight all bad guys in midair So I leave you with no choice but to confront you With my deep ferocious voice. His elves have to step up their game if they want to impress me Since I simply would like what I want I am a good boy you see Leaving a note to the big fat jolly guy Listing my many reasonable complaints Santa come on now I know you work very hard But I need more than that tiny little blue racing car The night is here late Christmas eve Time to express my thoughts and my feelings when he comes from afar So I march down the stairs all mighty and tough only too see all of my amazing stuff I go crazy with excitement since I was a very good boy this year seeing the toys and other big presents shaped like crinkled spheres I creep and crawl to the huge tree in delight Only to see not my name but brother Mike