What Am I Missing

What am I missing? every day I bounce in all directions through the door off ceilings, walls, floors rattling around wondering what am I here for? husband kissing off to work while I stay in and create a din of crazy commotion out of my notions I'll do this, no that- no that needs to be done Utterly distracted, no time for fun starting a bit of everything pulling loose too many strings to tie up by end of day- I do it daily, anyway knowing it's madness staving off sadness by feeling busy what's wrong with me? what am I missing here? what can't I see? If I could just stop myself shove “busy-ness” back on a shelf and work on clearing out the mess in my head... but somehow it's easier to tackle the laundry or go scrub the toilet or make up the bed Husband asks, are you okay? do we need to do things in a different way? are you happy here? do you need to work? after all these years, still confused by moods and quirks No, there's no other place that I'd rather be- and I'm never bored with my books and hobbies! but- with all that said I just wish I could do something worthwhile something really good something no one else in the world could do- Then he smiles and says ...like being you?