What a Card

He waltzed into the barroom Announcing his name was Jack He had a peg-leg, three fingers gone And on his left eye wore a patch His teeth that weren’t missing Shined of glimmering gold He ordered a bottle of whiskey And then this story he told He talked with an accent That sounded really strange Seems he mined for diamonds In a South African mountain range For months he lived alone there Just him and his two mules Digging day and night Looking for them jewels Says that he hurt his leg And gangrene did set in A village doctor amputated Anesthesia was a case of gin Thieves cut his fingers off Stealing his diamond rings But where the other rocks were hid They could not make him sing Now he is a rich man Living the life of luxury He bought drinks for everyone Saying, “The next round is on me” Then that grizzly old rich man Waltzed back out the door And the one-eyed Jack of Diamonds Was seen never more For Paula Swanson's, "Pick A Card" contest