Weathering the Storm

In the eye of the storm I hover, daring not move close to the edge. My comfort zone moves with the core, waning, wafting through life situations. My brain aches as I weave the syntax. Laughing at the storm of my design. A wife, a child, a lover, a problem, the perfect pain of self incrimination. Loving my family, what can I say. Their scent is upon my heartstrings. Resonating in pristine harmony, faint vibrations of self biorhythm. Love infinitum, a family trait. offers no source of absolution. I find myself crying in silence as I muse in search of forgiveness. Forgiveness for what, I ask myself. I should hate myself for loving to lust? Or do I lust for loving to love. Semantics, pure semantics hogwash. No one is there to offer solace. Could my wife and lover get along? What would my child think of that? No, I’m sure I will give someone up. Adrenalin flowed as a river tide, keening my senses beyond reason. Taking my breath, shadowing reality, demanding as an old flickering movie But, lord what will my decision be. Best to leave God out of this decision, except to pray to him for guidance. And I already know what I should do. But I also know what I have to do. For the one not living in my home, I know my love is more lust than love. If I have to hurt, I have no choice. As I moved away from the core the storm subsided within my soul. Gentle spring rain caressed my heart as I knew I had but to confess. © 01 Dec 2010 for John’s “jaded partitions” contest