Weathering the Storm

In the eye of the storm I hover,
daring not move close to the edge.
My comfort zone moves with the core,
waning, wafting through life situations.

My brain aches as I weave the syntax.
Laughing at the storm of my design.
A wife, a child, a lover, a problem,
the perfect pain of self incrimination. 

Loving my family, what can I say.
Their scent is upon my heartstrings.
Resonating in pristine harmony,
faint vibrations of self biorhythm.

Love infinitum, a family trait.
offers no source of absolution.
I find myself crying in silence
as I muse in search of forgiveness.

Forgiveness for what, I ask myself.
I should hate myself for loving to lust?
Or do I lust for loving to love. 
Semantics, pure semantics hogwash.

No one is there to offer solace.
Could my wife and lover get along?
What would my child think of that?
No, I’m sure I will give someone up.

Adrenalin flowed as a river tide,
keening my senses beyond reason.
Taking my breath, shadowing reality,
demanding as an old flickering movie

But, lord what will my decision be.
Best to leave God out of this decision,
except to pray to him for guidance.
And I already know what I should do.

But I also know what I have to do.
For the one not living in my home,
I know my love is more lust than love.
If I have to hurt, I have no choice.

As I moved away from the core 
the storm subsided within my soul.
Gentle spring rain caressed my heart
as I knew I had but to confess.  

© 01 Dec 2010 for John’s “jaded partitions” contest
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Gothard Avatar
December 11, 2010 at 3:15 PM
It feels good to go deep inward and to get to know the self it helps in the healing Maria gothard
Guzzi Avatar
December 10, 2010 at 4:55 PM
You guys entering this contest were very brave...I'm glad I wasn't home..some things are just to dark..all the poems so far have been as your viseral, bleeding, bloody. I loved once like that once was enough. You know I'm saying you got to me! Sorry, sorry for your pain and all the pain YIKES! Congrad's Light & Love
Dietrich Avatar
December 6, 2010 at 9:22 PM
wow, Charles. True story?? This is very good writing here. A very well deserved win. congratulations.
Sweetheart Avatar
December 6, 2010 at 1:00 PM
Congrats Charles on your super win in John's contest with this brilliant write and entry my friend.. enjoy another top spot win for a top notch poem with luv..
Brown Avatar
December 6, 2010 at 11:36 AM
Congratulations on your win in John's "Jaded Partitions" contest Charles. Love, Carol
Kendrick Avatar
December 6, 2010 at 5:51 AM
Interesting thoughts penned...Congratulations on your win..Sara
Mehta Avatar
December 6, 2010 at 1:54 AM
Congratulations on this well deserved win in the contest of Jared, Charles
Brown Avatar
December 2, 2010 at 11:35 AM
I wish that I could vivify my comments to you and to all better. But I end up babbling and making no sense. So, I will leave you a message today letting you know I did read your poetry and I enjoyed it. I love reading poetry and the poets here are so talented. Have a wonderful day Charles. Love, Carol
Devonshire Avatar
December 1, 2010 at 1:38 PM
Although I'm sure this isn't based on personal experience, I was glad to see the man in the poem do the right thing. There's a lot at stake when people cheat on their spouses. It's inevitable that children will feel the repercussions too. You're doing some great writing for the contests this week, Charles, and I think this is a winner. Love, Carolyn
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