Weak
The sadness is creeping
It is taking over my whole being
The insecurity, the self loathing
The constant longing to be somewhere else
Someone else
The endless days
The endless nights
The endless nightmare
That is my life
How I wish to be happy
How I wish to be carefree
How I wish for days gone by
To be the person I once was
I am stuck in this never ending circle
It goes around and around
I can't break through
I am not strong enough now
I have been worn and torn
And am no longer complete
I am broken inside
Like a shattered windscreen
Just holding together by a thin laminate
It is like being stuck in a well
Looking up at the world going by
I put on a front so that nobody knows
I don't want to see the pity in their eyes
I don't want then to know that I am weak
So I keep on keeping on
Smiling along at them talking
Though not really taking them in
My eyes glaze over as they tell me their stories
Though all I think about is my dark place
The place which is now my home
The place which I dread I will live forever
This is my bed and it is here that I lie
Like a stone at the bottom of a lake
Heavy and lifeless
Muddy and worn and being buried more each day
Copyright © Jessika Croft | Year Posted 2018
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