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Watching the Shadows Grow

Dawn peeks over the hill and I.
The lemon lights stretch the shadows.
The beasts and wee birds grumble and fly,
each seeking food, and so do I.
My stomach growls at cocks reply
the cows in the pasture all low.
We sit with tea just he and  I
watching the sun grow the shadow.


*Zeugma line 1 Dawn peeks over the HILL.
                     Dawn peeks over the I.

9/2/14

naturetriolet

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Daver Austin

October 20, 2014 at 3:17 PM

The last line is great. I like it better than the title. The whole piece is cozy. Love, daver

Sara Kendrick

October 2, 2014 at 6:13 AM

Debbie, thank you for participating in my contest..I appreciate your work being there..I am sorry about being so long in sending my congrats but due to the circumstances things haven't been like I wanted..Sara

Michelle Mac Donald

September 30, 2014 at 11:48 AM

Love this Debs! Amazing imagery and sound personifications. I like 'wee birds grumble'...makes me think of the chickadee! The 'cocks' probably mock the capons and cry out with glee as the 'stomach growls'? I'm behind with comments and reads...thinking I would have more 'time' now is an understatement? I guess it has nothing to do with 'time', the issue is getting more organized. Maybe watching 'the sun grow the shadow(s). Keep well...love, Mikki

Joseph May

September 22, 2014 at 5:53 PM

Congrats on your win Debbie...lovely write

Paul Callus

September 22, 2014 at 2:35 PM

Very enjoyable write, Debbie! Liked the last line most. Congrats on your win. // paul

Brenda Meier-Hans

September 22, 2014 at 10:13 AM

Beautiful poem to match the beautiful picture. Congratulations on your win Debbie.

Kelly Deschler

September 21, 2014 at 1:17 AM

I love the peaceful and serene atmosphere that your poem creates. This is a beautiful write, Debbie! It goes so well with the photo!.... By the way, thank you so much for the kind comments. They really meant a lot to me!

Andrea Dietrich

September 19, 2014 at 10:15 PM

wow, this is really nice, Debs. Love to see you doing triolet. Hey, I need to know the devices for your poem. There is a big ad covering the side of your contest description. Only three devices are showing and you said we must use at least three, which means there must be more than just those three. Wasn't personification one of them? Please let me know!! Symbolism? Any others?

Dorian Petersen Potter

September 16, 2014 at 8:39 PM

Well penned! I love this triolet of yours, Debbie. Be back to read you some more for sure. I see you have a lot of treasures here in your vaults that I want to explore and look up to. Lol.... Hugs and blessings! xxxx D

Elaine George

September 15, 2014 at 12:02 AM

Brilliant! My friend. Lainie

Robert Lindley

September 12, 2014 at 10:09 PM

This has it all and the flow sings to me. A cool sunny morn and hope rising with the SUN!! Brilliant and sends a soothing restful spirit when read! Adding this one to my fav list and giving it a super 7 rating.. Thanks...

Maurice Yvonne

September 3, 2014 at 6:42 PM

you are a true poet Debbie. you blow my mind. brilliant.

Carrie Richards

September 3, 2014 at 5:39 PM

Ahh....lovely..... and has also made me famished !! LOL !! ps......a big thank you for my placement in your contest.....an honor to be among those great poets we know! Thanks Deb!