Washing Away Sin from a Tree

How can I perfect me, if I let the actions or the words of others affect me, since a child God muted my prayers & neglected me, she said she loved me but she showed it through telepathy, abuse, & profanity, abandon by family, even Lucifer & his army wouldn't stand with me, catastrophe's shooting dice with calamities, so my survival mode kick in, that was just the man in me, tryna break free from my desires inspired me, my souls been suffocated while my spirit suffers from burns beyond a 3rd degree, Eve & Adam ate of me, I'm that forbidden tree, sin sizzling, sitting in the belly of a bumble bee, sorcerers invoking demons through their philosophies & monstrosities, birthing Plato & Socrates, their illusion of life tricking our retina, for that's all we see these beings killed the Messiah then committed blasphemy, so what you think they will say about or do to me? So see why I cant let the actions or words of others affect me, when I'm tryna perfect me, washing away sin from a tree.