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Vigilant Veil

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A Sunday scribble for Miranda Hawley's 'Pick a sentence' poetry contest.

The chosen phrase:

I'm okay, you're okay is a mask in the land of pretend.

Photograph by Henriett Butler

There's an irony in speech, people only hear what harmonises with their ears. Just like silence after music, with no ovation nor applause, we pause our symphonic chorus, as its repetitive nature is ignored. We bury our fragility in a shallow grave, hoping no one will discover our porcelain soul, but wait for the right person to dig a little deeper. Will your truth be found in this unmarked tomb? Revealing vulnerability can lead to judgement, so in your misunderstood state of mind, I understand why your tongue is mute. Place your vigilant veil carefully, but smile... Be weary of those who attempt to break your barriers - not everyone will care to serenade with your melody.

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Karen Jones

Date: 2/23/2024 2:27:00 AM

Congratulations on your win!

Kate Davies

Date: 10/29/2023 12:08:00 PM

This is beautiful, alive and frail. Is there not solace we can seek in peaceful sleep, for we must portray a hard face in the sight of sheep.

Paige Hind

Date: 10/25/2023 10:39:00 AM

A lot of truth and potency in this... enjoyed!

Joseph May

Date: 10/24/2023 2:32:00 PM

"The irony of people only hearing what harmonises with their ears", becomes a discordant melody, Well penned Silent

Mystic Rose Rose

Date: 10/24/2023 11:05:00 AM

lol no not everyone will serenade your tune, some will ruin your silence if you let them, oh but don't you let them, like the song goes :)

Ink Empress

Date: 10/23/2023 10:58:00 PM

This is one of the most simplest of your poems i think ive read recently. One that just flows in a way that any reader can resonate not just men. Ones who constantly suppress their emotions and hide behind veils of smiles, to mask their pain, as not many can understand or they are left feeling unheard and unseen despite expressing. I really love the title! Can we have that as a prompt on insta? Lol its so catchy and unique! And the alliterations! Ah! And i love the line “ we bury our fragility

Ink Empress
Date: 10/23/2023 11:01:00 PM

In a shallow grave! That can be actually a brilliant quote! So deep and meaningful! “Will your truth be found in this unmarked tomb?” What a deep line that is! You do also have a very deep mindset? A philosophical way of trying to make sense of emotions and all that around! And that can be evident in this wise raw and sincere write! “ Just like silence after music, with no ovation nor applause, we pause our symphonic chorus” wow although this poem is simple these lines i cant consider as simple as they are truly so very artistic and poetic! I am in awe of the way you’ve written for this prompt and im sure this will be a top winner! I wish i can write like this! Oneday? When I grow up (lol :D) goodluck!

Fading Star Silence

Date: 10/23/2023 5:09:00 PM

Wow..i resonate so deeply with this brilliant piece..it’s hard for me to trust and to be vulnerable with all but just a few. Instead I find myself feeling too exposed, overthinking if it was right for me to have shown my vulnerability with someone..”revealing vulnerability can lead to judgement, so in your misunderstood state of mind, I understand why your tongue is mute” really hit me in the gut!

Fading Star Silence
Date: 10/23/2023 5:09:00 PM

Either they use our vulnerability against us or they use it to be what no one else has been for us. Your poem as a whole is truly so deep and gracefully woven!

Nancy Kaufman

Date: 10/23/2023 4:46:00 PM

Wow such profound thoughts here. Excellent write.

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 10/23/2023 1:13:00 AM

We have become like a menu, stealing what suits us. So we become an unmarked tomb. Great poem with perfect flow and deep thoughts. Blessings

Meymei Rose

Date: 10/22/2023 5:22:00 PM

This was truly powerful. Thank you ??

Abdullah Alhemaidy

Date: 10/22/2023 2:49:00 PM

Great read!

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 10/22/2023 1:46:00 PM

Outstanding...a brilliant, captivating write. I agree, 'we bury our fragility in a shallow grave hoping no one will discover our porcelain soul.' Poignant and true. You're right to be vigilant about our 'veils'--not everyone is compassionate...sad but true. Have to fav this one too. Sara

Joe Dimino

Date: 10/22/2023 12:31:00 PM

"There's an irony in speech, people only hear what harmonises with their ears. Just like silence after music, with no ovation nor applause, we pause our symphonic chorus, as its repetitive nature is ignored." Wow! Very profound. "Place your vigilant veil carefully, but smile. Be weary of those who attempt to break your barriers - not everyone will care to serenade with your melody." In the end, one finds standing with you, only self and God. A few friends may come down off their clouds. I hope there is Heineken to first quench my thirst.

Sotto Poet

Date: 10/22/2023 7:05:00 AM

Dear Silent, Your poetry is an art, full of passionate strength. Disclosing our deepest thoughts may be greeted with deafening silence in a society that scorns vulnerability, especially among males. We may wonder whether our sentiments are worth sharing. Meaningful masks are worn to hide one's true self from inquiring eyes. Your excellent poem distills this complex issue into a personal great and well-conveyed message. This is a fave.

Silent One
Date: 10/22/2023 7:33:00 AM

Yes you are right so we smile on..sadly suicide amongst males is very high... thank you

Deb M

Date: 10/22/2023 6:41:00 AM

I absolutely love this S.O ….some men especially (perhaps not so much nowadays as times have changed for the better) have trouble removing their mask for fear of being perceived as weak, being judged and feeling vulnerable! Thats what l read and felt from reading your mighty words! Debx

Silent One
Date: 10/22/2023 7:31:00 AM

Yes you are right Deb..sometimes even when men open up, they are not taken seriously and that is sad...Thank you

Vijay Pandit

Date: 10/22/2023 6:32:00 AM

not everyone will care to serenade with your melody---good reason to put on a veil. You delivered aptly on the given theme, SO.

Silent One
Date: 10/22/2023 7:31:00 AM

Yeah...not everyone cares.. thwnknyou Vijay

Regina Mcintosh

Date: 10/22/2023 6:13:00 AM

So true. Awesome writing - powerful suggestions, phrases, poetry. God bless you. Love, Gina

Silent One
Date: 10/22/2023 7:30:00 AM

Thank you Gina..

Di11y Da11y

Date: 10/22/2023 5:10:00 AM

I cannot pretend to understand every line in this but there are strands of beauty within this that resonate with me. I experienced this poem almost as waves yet with a sense of time standing still when the wave should crash when you mention the expectation that sits in silence after music and how that rests. I'm all in for the porcelain soul - I enjoyed this one lots

Silent One
Date: 10/22/2023 5:27:00 AM

The poem is about how i understand why people wear a mask. Sometimes when we talk about our feelings, especially men, we get shut down and wonder what is the point of explaining.. Thanks for your comment..