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View From Basement Flat

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View from Basement Flat Window, by Suzette Richards - image generated.


 

It was the sound that first drew me to the low street-facing window. I cleared a small spot in the grime and was rewarded by ankles. Clickity-clack, clickity-clack. Joie de vivre discernible in the rhythm of her hurried pace, that's only broken when she skipped the crack in the concrete pavement. Clickity-clack, clickity-clack. The fashionable red high heels heralded slim, well-formed ankles which could only lead to good legs powering the mesmerising clickity-clack, clickity-clack. Perhaps a secretary or working at reception nearby. Her stride was confident, assured, as far as the high heels allowed. Clickity-clack, clickity-clack. One could set one's watch by her and it appeared someone did just that. Jeans-clad and brown brogues appeared from the opposite direction. Clickity-clack … clickity-clack … Not breaking her determined stride he had to fall in with her pace. Old acquaintances or new friends? There was a slight skip in her walk. Clickity-click, clickity-click. Glistening in the morning sun the gold ankle bracelet shone new. Brogues in close proximity to her, shortened his longer strides. Clickity-clack, clickity-clack. The summer heat did not entice her to swap high heels for sandals. He wore story socks with sandals - a marked difference in dress code. Clickity-clack, clickity-clack. As cool autumn approached, so did the distance widens between them - the former rapport's now broken. The staccato now hesitant: Clickity…clack. Clickity…clack. When the first flurries of snow fell, her lone high heels sought purchase on the thin black ice on the pavement. The bracelet's not in evidence. Click-clack, click-clack …

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023




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Date: 8/11/2023 9:20:00 AM
EDIT: 'her lone high heels *seek* purchase on' ~ change to "sought" for tense consistency. Also, you might consider changing the sixth' paragraph refrain to reflect the 'slight skip in her walk' ~ "click clickity clack" suggesting a cryptic clue as to the quality of this stranger.
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Robert Warlov
Date: 9/12/2023 4:27:00 AM
~
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Suzette Richards
Date: 8/12/2023 10:52:00 PM
Many thanks Robert. I appreciate your feedback.
Date: 8/9/2023 3:12:00 PM
Ha! Who knew a tale of romance and heartache could be told by observing ankles and clickety clacks. Now we know. Nice
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Suzette Richards
Date: 8/9/2023 7:34:00 PM
Thanks, Tom :)
Date: 8/9/2023 4:16:00 AM
Great observation, Suzette:) dramatic indeed:)
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Suzette Richards
Date: 8/9/2023 7:35:00 PM
Thanks, Jo :)
Date: 8/8/2023 1:16:00 PM
wow, great writing, dramatic indeed. You are very talented. I loved the repetition of the sound of the heels!
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Suzette Richards
Date: 8/8/2023 10:06:00 PM
Thank you, Andrea, for the high praise. :)
Date: 8/8/2023 9:42:00 AM
Ooooh loved how you wrote an entire story with just passing high heels!! Enjoyed:)
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Suzette Richards
Date: 8/8/2023 9:52:00 AM
Hi, nice hearing from you. Susan. Thanks:)

Book: Shattered Sighs